I think the only proper way to describe how I’m feeling these days is to say that I am done. DONE. I should probably be mature or maybe poke fun at myself a little, but again, done is pretty much where I’m at.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been busy–so busy that I haven’t been able to keep up the boy’s therapy schedule. There was sickness one week and another week I went out of town for a Blogging/Social Media Conference and now I’m back and . . .

this sucks.


Talking about your kids faults all the time? Sucks.

Talking about how your parenting decisions have made a less-than-perfect child? Sucks.

Feeling like all the advice you get contradicts itself? More suckage.

And feeling not sure that anything is really doing anything anyway? You guessed it.

I’m just burned out and I can tell. Three years of Charlie therapy plus two years of twin therapy means a lot, LOT of therapy.

I could go into all the specifics, but honestly, I’m tired of the whole thing. Tired. Tired.

This is such an inspiring blog post, huh?


Peeling the Onion

Louie has been in school for about a month and he has learned so much. He’s learning how to use instruments in music class, he’s learning to walk from one place to another without throwing a big fit, he’s playing with puzzles, and sliding on slides. He is happy and that is probably the best part for me–picking up a little boy who is emotionally intact and at peace.

We had to have a conference for Mr. Louis as well, though. While I know and see that he is happy, he is still throwing a lot–LOT–of tantrums and he scares his teacher almost daily. Twice I’ve had to sign a paper stating that he hit his head on the pavement outside while doing this. He’s fine–no bumps or bruises–but definitely scaring his sweet teacher.

He’s also got some of what I would call “Lost Boy” behavior–stealing food, wandering around during meals, crying when he has to wash his hands, etc. These are, sadly, my fault. My kids share food freely and I’ve made almost no attempt to correct that behavior. My kids are all strapped in during meals to prevent wandering–when you have four, and one with food allergies, you don’t risk things.

We’ve agreed to send in the Psychologist that Early Steps has provided. She works on these very things and was recommended when it became clear that the boys were developing around each other rather than developing along the typical track. Say what you want, twins are never boring. Well, mine aren’t, anyway.

So, we thought we had most things figured out when BAM! another piece of news fell in my lap today. A while back we did a sensory profile for both boys and the daycare teachers filled out out as well. Guess who came back with the most sensory issues? That would be Louie.

Sooooooooo. . . that might be part of the problem at school. And when I think about it, it might explain some of his behavior at home as well. He LOVES to slam things. And bang things. And honestly? That’s just Louie, but maybe it’s also some sensory-seeking behavior.

The OT is going to go to school armed with this new information and hopefully she’ll have some suggestions for them as well.

These kids, man. They are something else.




So How’s August?

Maybe you’re wondering! Maybe you’d like to know how things are going since I yanked him out of preschool and began the slow process of turning him into Boo Radley.

Actually, he’s doing pretty dang great. There are things that I have always known about him, but now I have a chance to really see them and see how those things can make it difficult for him to be successful.

He’s got the low tone. LOW. He’s also easily frustrated. This combination means that he’s likely to give up before mastering things.

So we’re working hard on some fine motor things and I’m seeing improvement.

I’ve also got him on a lot of supplements. I read and read, and add things to see if they help. I think we’re up to four supplements.  He’s friendlier than ever and loves to play. He’s babbling a little bit which is great because it’s him talking–not just imitating, but really saying something. He’s trying to interact with Louis which is new. He’s doing a great job responding to his name. His belly is a lot flatter and I’m seeing a lot less of the hurting-tummy behaviors.

Is he perfect? Nope. Is he good? Absolutely.

I also took him to see a DAN doctor. That’s a person who treats autism disorders with the belief that there’s an underlying cause. This lady has recommended several tests to assess August’s digestion and as soon as I scrape together a few dollars, I’ll be getting that done. I’m hoping this will reveal any underlying allergies or food intolerances because I know I haven’t found them all. He still has these dark circles under his eyes that they call allergic shiners.

Louie is good too–loving school, learning so much, coming home covered in dirt and sand.

Things are good right now. They really are. I’m trying to enjoy the calm while it’s here.

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