That Time When Mommy Was Right

So I did some soul searching and decided that August needed to stay home this year.

My husband did not agree, and he and the nice people at the preschool convinced me to give August a go.

It did not go well. We’re on day two and I’ve already received two phone calls regarding his behavior.

Is it possible that Mommy was right? I think so. They’ve made all kinds of plans for how we can help him, but my gut is screaming “keep him at home with his damn mommy!!!!”

Honestly, I’m exhausted by all of this. Tired of trying to fit my square peg kid into a round hole. Tired of justifying the decisions that I know are right. Tired of worrying, tired of my life being ruled by other people’s ideas of “right.”

So I’m done. Louie is doing fantastic, which I expected. He’s loving the adventure and the opportunities. August? He’s hiding in corners and rocking back and forth. My soul is bruised and I can’t take any more of this. Next year August will qualify for Early Intervention Preschool and I feel confident that will be a good fit for him. If I have to round-up some kind of diagnosis to make that happen, I’ll do that. In the mean time we’ve got story-time, and playdates and other activities are small and less stressful–for August and for me.



One Minute Recap

SO much is going on right now. So. Very. Much.

Friday was another bad day at daycare for the twins, so I picked them up and have not brought them back. I think we are officially done with daycare. I may also be done with advice. Well, I’m not done with advice, but I’m going to be a whole lot less likely to just take it. Mama knows best and all that.

I’ve made the most-difficult decision to send Louie to school and keep August at home. I’m talking regular school–shorter hours, more holidays, and the same teacher ever day. It’s also going to have a more rigid schedule, thematic units, and other school-like stuff. I think Louie is ready for a challenge and hungry for knowledge. I pray that he’s capable of keeping himself together when needed.

Charlie slouching at Meet the Teacher night.

Charlie slouching at Meet the Teacher night.

Mommy date at the splash pad.

Mommy date at the splash pad.

August is going through a serious Mommy phase. Serious. I’m taking this as a good thing–a sign of development. I don’t think it’s a good time to send him to school, however. I think now is a time for nurturing, for mommy time, and we’ll do our own little lessons, go the park, the library, etc. Rex will come along too and at Christmas we may investigate the possibility of school depending on how things go.

And Charlie? Well, Charlie starts school in less than a week and he is ready to go yesterday. We went to “meet the teacher” and he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to play on his computer, check out his old toys, and generally crawl around the room and visit with everyone. He’ll be on cloud nine come Monday.

So that’s where we are right now. All four boys are home with me this week which means it it NUTTY, but we are making it through. Somehow. Hopefully I’ll get to touch my computer a bit more after Louie and Charlie start school.

That Time I Turned Down a Screening

Earlier this week I got a phone call from the woman who has now screened three of my children for Early Intervention. Somehow, in a flurry of paperwork, I’d signed a paper agreeing to have the twins screened for Autism.

I called her back and told her we didn’t want the screening and apologized for wasting her time.

So why don’t I want the Autism screening? Because I already know what it would say.

Both of the boys have a significant speech delay. They are both approximating words and using them at the correct times, but neither has two-word phrases and both make a lot of unintelligible noises. This alone puts them in the “at-risk” category for autism.

I don’t think Louie has autism. I think he has speech apraxia. I think August has developmental delay linked to his extreme allergies to foods. Could he one day end up with a PDD-NOS label? I think it’s possible, but I’m not ready to pursue it.

Every parent has to make the best decision for their kids, but for me, I’m in no rush to get them label. In fact, I want to put it off as long as possible.

I know where we stand. I know what my boys can and can’t do. I fill out autism screenings regularly just to see how they’re doing.

I’m not eager for them to be labeled, however. I live in label town–Charlie has enough for a village.  I’m not afraid of labels. I am afraid of jumping the gun and sticking my kids with a label for the rest of their lives that they may or may not need. I will only look for that label when I think it will be beneficial and not before.

So no screening for us.

Not yet.


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