My husband hopped in an SUV with his boss and some other fellows to watch the LSU Tigers play in Dallas. Normally this would not be a big deal, but for some reason Rex has given up sleeping. GIVEN IT UP. And as a result, I’m only semi-functional. Sleeping here and there where I can and then catching a second wind at some odd hour.
So I was sleeping on my sofa the other day while all the littles napped and Charlie was a school and I had a dream that I was wearing a Minnie/Mickey Mouse Bikini. I don’t just mean that this bad boy was red, I mean that each of my breasts had a circle on them and each of those circles had their own set of ears. The Minnie Mouse boob was polka-dotted–that’s how you could tell the difference. How else, right? Also, miraculously my stomach had gone back in time to its pre-twins state and I was stoked. So stoked that I figured the best course of action would be to take a selfie. You know the kind–chickie makes a demure fact, but really she’s showing off how fabulous she looks. Whatev. In the dream, this was my turn!!!
My selfie taking was cut short by a quick trip to buy some shoes at a local place–I suddenly found myself zipped into one of those velour track suits that were so big a few years back. Sadly, I never made it back to my hot, pre-kid body or getting a picture of it. Sniff.
When I woke up, drooling on my own sofa, naturally I had only one thought: This has got to be Miley’s fault.