This Post Was Written by Delirium

My husband hopped in an SUV with his boss and some other fellows to watch the LSU Tigers play in Dallas. Normally this would not be a big deal, but for some reason Rex has given up sleeping. GIVEN IT UP. And as a result, I’m only semi-functional. Sleeping here and there where I can and then catching a second wind at some odd hour.

So I was sleeping on my sofa the other day while all the littles napped and Charlie was a school and I had a dream that I was wearing a Minnie/Mickey Mouse Bikini. I don’t just mean that this bad boy was red, I mean that each of my breasts had a circle on them and each of those circles had their own set of ears. The Minnie Mouse boob was polka-dotted–that’s how you could tell the difference. How else, right? Also, miraculously my stomach had gone back in time to its pre-twins state and I was stoked. So stoked that I figured the best course of action would be to take a selfie. You know the kind–chickie makes a demure fact, but really she’s showing off how fabulous she looks. Whatev. In the dream, this was my turn!!!

My selfie taking was cut short by a quick trip to buy some shoes at a local place–I suddenly found myself zipped into one of those velour track suits that were so big a few years back. Sadly, I never made it back to my hot, pre-kid body or getting a picture of it. Sniff.

When I woke up, drooling on my own sofa, naturally I had only one thought: This has got to be Miley’s fault.

Admit it--that looks like a Chuck E. Cheese bathing suit. Photo by Kevin Mazur

Admit it–that looks like a Chuck E. Cheese bathing suit. Photo by Kevin Mazur

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Comments

  1. hahahahahahah
    sounds like a good dream to me. And yup it is Miley’s fault haha. Please dont start sticking out your tongue though. please 😀
    I warned you -I was a walking zombie for the first 2 years of the twins life. I didn’t get back some semblance of normal until they were well into their third year. Sleep has NEVER been their priority. LOL

  2. Bugladynora says:

    Clearly!! Hope the big man takes a long nap soon and you can too.

  3. Well, you’re either insane or extremely hilarious, and I wish I lived down the street from you either way.