Dearest readers: The following post was sponsored–imagine! Getting paid to write!–so please stay tuned to hear all about how I got to attend a fashion show hosted by Clinton Kelly and most importantly: how I got to go shopping WITHOUT MY KIDS.
A couple of months back I received an email listing a number of blogger events that would be happening at Macy’s this Spring. I don’t watch TV, so for the most part I have no idea who or what they’re talking about when these bulletins come out, but on the last one I happened to see that none other than CLINTON KELLY was going to be at my local mall. Now after I found out about this, I would tell people excitedly and some of them would wrinkle their brow and say, “who is that?” which kind of blow my mind because my mom and I watched his show, What Not to Wear, religiously back when I still had cable. In fact, we’ve been known to watch a ton of episodes back to back like addicts on a binge. A reality TV binge.
Where was I? Oh yes. An opportunity to go see Clinton Kelly at my local Macy’s talking about clothes and I’d get preferential seating if I wrote a blog post about it? Game on.
I was especially excited because having three kids in a year has left the ole body in less that perfect condition. I know, I know it’s hard to believe, but no, I don’t have the body of a twenty-six-year-old any more. Or a thirty-two-year-old for that matter.
So when the time came to ask Mr. Kelly a question, I threw my hand up in the air like an over-eager student. Me, me, me, me, me, meeeee! I wanted to ask about jeans. You see, post-kids, all jeans are basically muffin-top-makers. You know what I mean–they sit under the horrific roll that is your stretched-out abdomen and you are left with a MOST unflattering shape. Ok, maybe you don’t know–lucky you.
I’ve been wanting to buy a pair of nice denim–something expensive–because I heard that you get what you pay for in that department. So I asked Clinton what he thought about buying denim. He told me to think about what you want to accentuate–if you want to accentuate your hiney, wear skinny jeans. If you want to look more balanced, look for something with a straighter leg. Viola! Straighter leg. He also said you need to try on a TON of jeans to find the perfect pair–he made it sound a lot like swim suit shopping.
Then we had the show and he gave out a TON of good advice–all while being really funny. He is probably 100% funnier in real life than he is on TV and I thought he was pretty funny on TV. Here are just a few of his tips:
- Get a good bra fitting–“your girls will thank you.”
- Dress for the body you have now–not the body you want (I need to listen to this one)
- Wear what makes you happy (love that). He shared this gem with a wheelchair user who seemed to think maybe she should tone things down a little. Clinton disagreed.
- Get a good tailor.
- Don’t keep stuff in your front pockets–“nobody wants front junk in the trunk.”
- When buying jeans–it takes up to twenty pairs to find a good one.
After the show, I went shopping. I ended up with one very gorgeous pair of straight-leg Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, which make my addled midsection look a lot less horrific. Win! I also got a copy of Clinton’s new book “Oh No She Didn’t.” I’d tell you if it’s any good, but my friend Cara stole it from me immediately, but I did see a section called “tramp stamp at work,” so I suspect it will be as funny as he is.
So there you go: Me, shopping, without my kids, and spending more money than I ever do on something that makes me look good. Also, fashion advice from a reality TV guru. I’ve had worse days.
I am a member of the Everywhere Society and Everywhere has provided me with compensation for this post. However, all thoughts and opinions expressed herein are my own.