Archives for January 25, 2013

Killing My Inner Perfectionist


graphic reading "Little Joy Map"

Do you have a perfectionist inside of you?

I suspect that most of us would like to live in clean houses, would like to make yummy dinners that our children quickly devoured, and would like it if we had the figures of our early twenties while maintaining all the wisdom about life that we’ve accumulated in the interim. I would NEVER call myself a perfectionist, but I was introduced to the term “frustrated perfectionist” a few years back and I think that sums it up nicely. I want things to be perfect, but if they can’t be then I give up entirely. Great policy, huh?

I think this happens a lot with schedules. You write down everything that you want to happen and put a nice little time next to it. Baby will eat at 9, 12, 3, and 6! Fantastic!

You probably already know this, but babies and small children can’t read clocks. They also don’t seem to care too much about those schedules that we create.

That’s why I’m trying not to create a schedule. I still look at the clock, but I’m trying not to get upset if the kids go down for a nap late or if they get up too early. Routines are more about the order of things and less about the timing.

The other day the twins went to rest time late and got out late, so I thought we’d skip our dance time video. They were wandering around and acting funky, so I put the video in to distract them. Guess what? They calmed down, and rest of the evening went much more smoothly–even though everything was late. I thought they were tired or hungry, but I think it’s more likely they were off their routine.

Do you struggle with this? Do you try to parent by the clock? Or does parenting by the clock really work for you?

two boys looking at the same thing

Playing together briefly.

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