Disruptions

At this point I think it’s safe to say that I love my nightly routine with the boys.I’ve even got stories added in! In fact, getting an evening routine going seems to have created some structure for the rest of the day. I know in advance when I’m going to get a break, which makes it a bit easier when they’ve glued themselves to my body or throw a mega-tantrum. Stop me if you’ve heard this, before, but apparently children at this age are quite adept at tantrums.

graphic reading "Little Joy Map"

The kids seem to be falling into the routine rather nicely, but here’s the real question–how do I get hubby on board? I love the man, but he doesn’t *quite* seem to understand how important this routine thing is. I’ll say, “it’s time for the kids to go to bed!” and he’ll say, “but they don’t look tired.” Hmmmm

The Fly Lady (a routine goddess when it comes to cleaning) recommends that you don’t force anyone else to join you in routines–she says to press on and eventually others will start to see the wisdom. Is that the answer? Do you have in fabulous ideas for getting older, more stubborn boys to join you in the quest for routine bliss?

Still moving files from my sick computer--this is from three years ago almost exactly.

Still moving files from my sick computer–this is from three years ago almost exactly.

Sweet Success

 

graphic reading "Little Joy Map"

So I’ve been plugging along here trying by best to implement some routines. Some days go really well. Some days don’t. I think we’ve got rest time/dance video/dinner rather firmly entrenched, and I’m proud of that. Still working on bedtime, but I think that’s OK. I’ve also started doing some Fly Lady routines just for myself. If you’re not familiar with Fly Lady, she’s like AA for messy people. She’s especially good for people like me who want it to be perfect and then just give up when they realize it won’t be.

The other day I had my first sign that I’m definitely on the right track. My husband was running later than usual, and typically when this happens he comes home to me, stressed to the max, the kids undone and whining, and nobody in a very good mood. Well, I ran through our routine, bedtime hit, and I made the bottles and got the twins shuttled off to bed. He came home and I was hanging out with Charlie and Rex while we waited for Charlie’s dinner to finish. I’m pretty sure he was in shock.

Later I said to him, “you know, I think this routine thing is helping–I think I’m happier.” And his response? “I think I am too.”

Feeling pretty good about that one.

PS: My main computer has picked up a nasty virus, so I’m picture free today. Hopefully I’ll have things back up and running sooner rather than later.

Killing My Inner Perfectionist

 

graphic reading "Little Joy Map"

Do you have a perfectionist inside of you?

I suspect that most of us would like to live in clean houses, would like to make yummy dinners that our children quickly devoured, and would like it if we had the figures of our early twenties while maintaining all the wisdom about life that we’ve accumulated in the interim. I would NEVER call myself a perfectionist, but I was introduced to the term “frustrated perfectionist” a few years back and I think that sums it up nicely. I want things to be perfect, but if they can’t be then I give up entirely. Great policy, huh?

I think this happens a lot with schedules. You write down everything that you want to happen and put a nice little time next to it. Baby will eat at 9, 12, 3, and 6! Fantastic!

You probably already know this, but babies and small children can’t read clocks. They also don’t seem to care too much about those schedules that we create.

That’s why I’m trying not to create a schedule. I still look at the clock, but I’m trying not to get upset if the kids go down for a nap late or if they get up too early. Routines are more about the order of things and less about the timing.

The other day the twins went to rest time late and got out late, so I thought we’d skip our dance time video. They were wandering around and acting funky, so I put the video in to distract them. Guess what? They calmed down, and rest of the evening went much more smoothly–even though everything was late. I thought they were tired or hungry, but I think it’s more likely they were off their routine.

Do you struggle with this? Do you try to parent by the clock? Or does parenting by the clock really work for you?

two boys looking at the same thing

Playing together briefly.

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