Monday was an average day in the life of a mom of four small children: I prepared meals, changed diapers, made approximately one million bottles, and forced children to take naps they weren’t interested in.
It was also National Bodily Functions Day although no one told me about that.
He’s the best camera kid I have–he smiles for it every time.
I first became alerted to the fact that we were observing National Bodily Functions Day when my cat threw up on me while I was taking a nap. Like any mother to a newborn, I tried to ignore this completely and rolled over. Not deterred, my cat then threw up on me again.
Later, one of my twins escaped after his bath, ran over to the TV and peed on the floor in front of it. Then, the twins reenacted a Three Stooges Act and proceed to slip and fall in said pee. Let no one tell you that twins aren’t entertaining. Disgusting also, but definitely entertaining.
Still. This could have still been an average day–a little piss, a little vomit–it happens. Maybe not to other people, but in the house of many creatures, it’s a definitely not a shocker.
But then my husband went to a work function with some of the guys from the office. One of his colleagues had too much to drink or ate a bad oyster or whatever and became sicker than a sorority girl at her first mixer. As my husband drove him home, he proceeded to puke out the window of his family vehicle. Something about the aerodynamics of the wind, however caused the puke to blow back into the van until my husband was covered in a fine mist of booze, shrimp, and oysters. Um, can we say gross? I’m usually fine with puke, but seafood puke? Sorry, dude, you’re on your own. Those clothes weren’t even allowed in my bedroom. I lobbied for my husband to take them off before he got in the house, but he wasn’t buying it, so he undressed in the kitchen and straight into the washing machine they went.
Needless to say, I hope we won’t be celebrating this one next year.
No clue what the recorder is about–that’s Lou for ya.
I'm Katy. I'm a wife, mom, and champion napper. My oldest son is six and has cerebral palsy, I have two-year-old b/b twins, and a one-year-old. I consider myself living proof that God has a sense of humor. Read More…