A Week In the Trenches

It’s been crazy around here. The twins are teething–not the kind of teething where I can see an actual tooth, but the thing before where they act like nutty beavers, gnawing on things, drooling excessively, and sleeping horribly. Fun times!

This, plus Charlie having an entire week off for Mardi Gras, has left me with approximately three brain cells, and none of them are functioning very well. I was looking through my phone, though, and realized that all the pictures I take during a week practically do the talking for me. So this week, I’m letting my iPhone talk for me. These pictures are from last week–I think–close enough. I told you there are only a few functioning cells up there!

This is my new method for going shopping with the twins. I call it “double-decker babies.” It’s actually pretty funny because people will come over to look  at the baby “on top,” and them whammo! I surprise them with a second baby. One lady actually jumped when she saw Louis down there.

Here’s a picture of Charlie waiting for the bus and listening to his iPad. He’s usually in his wheelchair, but this day the chair was already at school, so he rode in one of the bus’s car seats–how cool is that? The iPad has really improved the morning wait for the bus. Charlie and I are not the most patient people, so this keeps him entertained while we wait. I’m usually sitting next to him checking my email (or snapping his picture).

August has this new breathing thing that he does, where he emits a high-pitched sound when he breaths in. Only thing is–he only does it when he’s excited. I’ve taken him to the doctor once,  and the emergency room once, and gotten essentially no explanation. They’ve done x-rays, nothing. They check his oxygenation, it’s 100%.  He’s just got a weird, quirky, breathing thing that sends me and everyone else around into a complete panic when he does it. This kid is super-fun!

Awww. . . how sweet. Two brothers playing with the same toy. Not so much. Here, Charlie is showing Louie which buttons on this toy are the “good” ones, so maybe he’ll stopping pressing all the lame ones that Charlie doesn’t like.

Louie plays hard and he naps hard. Sometimes these two activities intersect.

This is Charlie, rocking the pincher grasp. That’s not just a special mommy inchstone, but an honest-to-goodness-printed-in-the-baby-books milestone. Can’t believe it.

Here’s Charlie waiting for the bus again–can you sense a theme here? It was the day that Kindergarten (Charlie is in Pre-K), has their parade. The kids were allowed to wear Mardi Gras shirts to school, but that proved to be almost impossible to find in his size. My MIL and I went to five different stores total before we came up with this–a woman’s size M shirt. It was one that’s meant to be tight and stretchy, so worked OK. Way too long, but we tucked it in. As you can see, Charlie thought it was just fine.

I was completely exhausted when I went to get Charlie off the bus at the end of the day, but I was absolutely re-energized when I saw him with his wheelchair covered in beads, flowers, and other goodies. It was positively uplifting–and I’m not sure I even knew what that word meant until this moment. I love that Charlie has a place in his school and that he’s a part of things in his own wacky, individual way.

That’s it! That, plus therapy, therapy, therapy, cooking dinner, teething twins, and gestating baby number four.

Discipline and the Special Needs Child

I’m kind of a discipline nut. That could easily be misunderstood. I’m not saying that my kids are perfect, but after years of teaching, I actually view discipline as a puzzle. I’m always trying to figure out how I can get my child to act the way I would like. I’ve learned a ton, but still have far to go. One thing I do know for certain and that is: discipline can be tough on mom/dad/teacher too. Enforcing a decision once you’ve made it can make you wish you’d never taken a stand. Really.

I recently had the pleasure of getting to put my handy-dandy discipline knowledge to use, and it was pretty much the suckiest thing I’ve done in ages.

For starters, I was taking all three of my children to the pediatrician’s office. This is pretty much a disaster in the making. Just to get all three into the building I have to strap August to my body and put Louie and Charlie in the jogging stroller. This bad from the start because for some reason, Charlie is frightened of the jogging stroller and I have to basically hold him down to get him strapped in. Once in, he’s still not thrilled.

Once we get into the office–which, holy moly, why do they ALWAYS need to see my insurance cards? It’s not like they get confiscated if we stop paying our premiums. I have a kid strapped to my chest, does it look like it will be easy to fish that thing out of my purse?–I try to get us situated, which mean swapping August for Charlie, so August is in the stroller and Charlie is sitting in a chair.

This particular visit, Charlie would not sit back in his chair. Never mind his deathly fear of the jogging stroller, the office chair was apparently totally safe. So, about five minutes into our wait, one baby starts crying. As I’m digging for the bottle, Charlie leans so far forward in his chair that he falls out. I catch him before he hits the ground, but then he starts crying. Then, the other baby starts crying because everyone else is crying. I had reached the trifecta of tears and screaming.

I also felt like crying, so at that point I decided we were never going to make it to the magical moment where they call us back to sit in a tiny room, so I loaded up my crew and headed out. The twins were in the stroller and I was carrying the still-hysterical Charlie. Let me just say that motherhood has never looked so glamorous.

By the time we exit the building, I’m getting pretty upset. I mean, I had told Charlie to be careful and his general lack of listening had led to his fall, which was not at all painful because I actually caught him before he hit the ground. But still, he was screaming bloody murder in my ear as I started to haul his tiny butt across the parking lot.

That’s when it hit me that this was one of those teaching moments you hear so much about.

So I put Charlie down in the grass and told him I wouldn’t carrying him another inch until he stopped screaming.

He kept screaming.

And screaming.

People walked by and and looked at us out of the corner of their eyes.

I cried.

He kept screaming, but I stuck to my guns. I was a little concerned someone was going to call the cops on me, but I pressed on knowing that if I folded at this point, I’d be folding forever.

After one of the longest 15 minute stretches of my life, the screaming stopped. I picked him and brought him to the car. He made a few squeaks as we walked, but I told him he was going right back down if he started screaming again.

That night I told my husband about the visit. About the warnings, the fall, and how embarrassed I was as Charlie made a scene in front of the medical building.

“Good for you,” he said. And you know? I think I did the right thing. Pretty terrible to endure, but in the end, I still think it was right.

Hopefully Charlie will learn this particular lesson (not screaming in mommy’s ear) pretty quick–if not, I’m pretty sure I’m headed for an early grave. Also, a trip to the hair dresser to cover all this gray.

Sorry no Charlie pics--he was NOT in a picture mood.

 

Letting Strangers Parent My Child

I want to thank you all for the kind and insightful comments you left on our last post.

I read each one and considered it, and instead of responding to each one like I normally do, I just sat there and digested everything. Then I just let it sit for a few days.

There were several good suggestions there–and some of them sparked other ideas in me.

After discussing these things with The Husband, we’ve decided to put off the sleep study for now.

I’ll let you know if we discover anything as we test out a few ideas, and I’ll definitely keep you informed if we choose to go forward with the sleep study in the future. Right now we just want a little more time to make sure we’ve tried out all the non-invasive options.

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