Greetings from the land of the sleep-deprived!
Despite having no babies at home, I’m losing plenty of sleep at I dedicate to my arch nemesis–the pump.
I swore up one side and down the other that I would. not. pump. for these babies. That was, of course, before they arrived six weeks early. As much as I detest the pump, I think breast milk is best for getting immunities inside the babies, best for digestion, etc., etc. So here I am. Pumping.
The boys themselves are doing beautifully. The biggest issue facing them is growing and eating. They are both good eaters, but the eating is burning up so many calories, they aren’t gaining any weight. Don’t we all wish we had these problems? For now, they’re putting calories formula in their milk and with my tiny man, August, they’re letting him skip meals occasionally and putting it through a feeding tube. I’m trying not to gag at the very mention of a feeding tube, but I realize this is a necessary evil–the boys have to get bigger! We’ve also got routine head ultrasounds scheduled for tomorrow and I can’t tell you how much anxiety that’s causing me–just know that it’s a lot.
I’m doing my best to manage the crush of hormones that overtake me after birth–especially since this is my second time around having a baby (or two) and coming home with a plastic pump and a fist-full of pain killers. Not gonna lie: it’s kind of depressing. Hubby and I have talked about a fourth child (yes, we’re crazy), but this really puts a damper on that–I don’t seem especially good at this baby-making business.
But despite all of this, things in baby land really are good. This is so much better than the last time. I think my husband might do cartwheels, he’s so happy to visit his boys and not get bad news. Even when Louie was on the ventilator, it was easier than last time. The issues we are facing seem simple: eating, staying warm, jaundice. So much easier to swallow than: brain bleed, hydrocephalus, etc.
So we visit our tiny boys and hope that things will continue to go well. We’ll love the big brother we’ve got at home and cherish these last moments at home as three. Life is just flying by these days.