Greetings from the land of the sleep-deprived!

Despite having no babies at home, I’m losing plenty of sleep at I dedicate to my arch nemesis–the pump.

I swore up one side and down the other that I would. not. pump. for these babies. That was, of course, before they arrived six weeks early. As much as I detest the pump, I think breast milk is best for getting immunities inside the babies, best for digestion, etc., etc. So here I am. Pumping.

The boys themselves are doing beautifully. The biggest issue facing them is growing and eating. They are both good eaters, but the eating is burning up so many calories, they aren’t gaining any weight. Don’t we all wish we had these problems? For now, they’re putting calories formula in their milk and with my tiny man, August, they’re letting him skip meals occasionally and putting it through a feeding tube. I’m trying not to gag at the very mention of a feeding tube, but I realize this is a necessary evil–the boys have to get bigger! We’ve also got routine head ultrasounds scheduled for tomorrow and I can’t tell you how much anxiety that’s causing me–just know that it’s a lot.

I’m doing my best to manage the crush of hormones that overtake me after birth–especially since this is my second time around having a baby (or two) and coming home with a plastic pump and a fist-full of pain killers. Not gonna lie: it’s kind of depressing. Hubby and I have talked about a fourth child (yes, we’re crazy), but this really puts a damper on that–I don’t seem especially good at this baby-making business.

But despite all of this, things in baby land really are good. This is so much better than the last time. I think my husband might do cartwheels, he’s so happy to visit his boys and not get bad news. Even when Louie was on the ventilator, it was easier than last time. The issues we are facing seem simple: eating, staying warm, jaundice. So much easier to swallow than: brain bleed, hydrocephalus, etc.

So we visit our tiny boys and hope that things will continue to go well. We’ll love the big brother we’ve got at home and cherish these last moments at home as three. Life is just flying by these days.

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  1. Thank you so much for the update! Glad to hear both boys are doing well! Gabe was about 6 weeks early also and only needed 18 NICU days so hopefully your boys will be home with you soon. Gabe now at about 4 months is eating us out of house and home. His main problem was also eating and weight loss. It was nice to ditch the feeding tube in 2 weeks versus a year! I hope you have a smooth recovery and transition when the boys come home. I look forward to more pictures and updates but I will be patient. I know free time is a commodity!

  2. Enjoy your time with the pump. I pumped every 3 hours for 4 months while Caleigh was in the NICU only to find out she couldn’t tolerate it. I hated that thing, but quickly found out that I loved Fresh Prince of Bellaire at 3am!

    Hope your feeder and grower babies do just that.

    Oh, and it’s interesting how your perspective is different this time around. Just need to grow. Just need to eat. It’s nice to hear.

    And now for some unsolicited advice….Try to get some sun, that might cheer you up a bit, but I totally understand where your coming from!

  3. So glad to get an update. I was wondering how all of you were doing. Glad the boys are doing well and hope the eating and growing continue to get better as each day passes. I too hated the pump when Emily was in the NICU. To make matters worse for me, I never did get very much milk. So I was pumping every few hours and not getting much for my efforts. UGH! Praying all goes well with the ultrasounds.

  4. Your sweet tiny boys are adorable! I am so glad to hear that they are doing well, although I do not have to imagine how hard it is to go home without your babies. I am sure it will not be long and they will be home and healthy and thriving! I hope you are recovering too…

  5. Ahhh…the pump. Not my favourite thing, but I managed to tolerate it for 6 months….like you, I didn’t plan on pumping when you have preemies, things change. Once my milk came in and I was producing a pretty good amount (here’s hoping this happens for you), I went to pumping just once each night. I’d pump right before bed around 10pm and then set my alarm for 3am to pump and then I’d pump again at around 7am when I got up for the day. I pumped about every 3 to 4 hours during the day but would stretch it more at night.

    Also…just something to think about. When the boys came home, I went straight to nursing full time. And stopped pumping (only pumping once or twice because I had a lot of milk)….my mom was there for a few weeks so it worked well…UNTIL she went home. Then I realized that nursing 2 (that couldn’t tandem feed due to reflux issues) just wasn’t going to work if I was home alone. So I went back to pumping…but since I’d spent 2+ weeks just nursing, my supply went WAY down and I could never quite get it back up again. Anyways…just wanted to share my experience as I”m not sure what your plan is once you get home. I definitely found pumping and bottle feeding them WAY easier than nursing them…but that was just my experience.

    Thanks so much for the update! I’ve been wondering how you were all doing.

  6. Praying for you all. I hate the pump too, just know you are amazing for those boys. keep up the great work. I will be praying about their head ultrasounds.

  7. Katy, I love your heart and the way you write. I hate the pump as well. And will be praying for the head ultrasounds.

  8. I’m right there with you on the pump (sitting here next to mine right now in fact, just about to put the milk away).

    In fact, for my little one, apparently fortifier isn’t enough, so I’m pumping for hindmilk (and hey, look, instead of yo-yoing up and down, now she’s gaining something like 30-40 grams a day…that’s up to 4% of her body weight every day).

    Our ultrasound last week turned up a resolved grade 1 bleed, but then, my older one had the same, so we’re not panicking yet.

    And clearly you’re not all that bad at this baby making thing – you’ve got 3 beautiful children, and you had twins at 33+ weeks…one of whom was *over 5 pounds* which still astounds me. At 32 weeks gestation, Miss Leaf is still only 2 1/2 pounds (but then we had about 3 weeks of inconsistent weight gain post birth, so there’s really only one good week of growth there).

  9. I saw your post and then your tweet on your sidebar that your boys had clean head ultrasounds — hooray!!! Fantastic news!

    Regarding pumping, my worst memory is of working at our brand new business one day per week while our twins were in the NICU. My husband was working every day, so I had to go into work one day so he could have the opportunity to travel the hour plus to visit the babies. There was nowhere to pump, so I sat in the office and hoped no one looked in the windows. Once, I tried sitting on the floor of the cramped janitor closet. I don’t miss those days… I was thinking that maybe you could take a picture of your pump, print it, and then rip it to shreds when you are finished pumping. :)

  10. Good for you to do the pumping.. it is better for your little boys! So happy to hear the head U/S came back clean. You will not have time to feel sad when you have all the boys home, they will keep you hopping. Good work mommy!

  11. Great news that things are going as well as they are.

  12. Congrats!! Can’t wait to see more pics, maybe when you are less busy… around their 6th birthday 😉 Seriously though, it is great you are able to pump for them. What kind of pump do you have? I used a Medela Symphony for 2 of my babies (unable to latch properly). I can still hear the annoying noise it made while I sat there pumping at 9pm, 12am, 3 am, 6am, and so on and on and on and on for a grand total of TWO flipping years altogether. HAHA…good times.

  13. Meghan Kennedy says:

    Congratulations! Good, very good, news about the ultrasounds. The boys are beautiful and will get stronger and stronger. Even though it is easier for you this time than last, I still wish it wasn’t so hard this time around. I pumped for 8 months, but just for one! You probably know to drink LOTS and LOTS of water. You are amazing, and the boys will lift you up.

  14. So happy about the ultrasounds. I know exactly how you feel about all this being so much easier than with Charlie, even though we didn’t have any trauma with Sabrina.

    I can’t believe you are writing so cohesively. And that you even MENTIONED a fourth baby!!!!

    I had the opposite ordeal with both kids. I am an excellent pumper and a suck-y breastfeeder. So to speak. I wish I knew a way to make it easier for you.

    I’m also dying to see more photos!!! I had another baby crush at Type A. I get one at every conference. I’m your babysitter for the next one we’re at!

  15. I’ve been so wondering how things are going!!! Glad to hear things are going well even if the babes aren’t home yet. Any word on when they think they might be? I can’t wait to hear about your life with twins! This is gonna be so much fun!! :)

  16. Here’s hoping the pumping is going well (or over! LOL!) and that the boys are on their way home soon. I gave up on the pumping and bf at 8 weeks when I got the stomach flu. But my girls had a really hard time latching plus my supply was crappy. And that Mother’s Milk fenugreek stuff? DO NOT get the liquid. Spring for the pills if you do that. Cause that liquid was GROSS.

    Hope you’re able to get some sleep too! That was one of the perks from our girls being in the NICU actually. They were on a set schedule so we just kept them on that same schedule at home. Worked really well for us!

  17. I’m SO proud of you for pumping – and how hard to have the babies but then come home ’empty-handed’. Praying for you!