A few days ago, Charlie fell off a low bench and hit his head on a cement floor. It’s the kind of accident where everyone is standing right there and it just happens too fast for you to do anything about it. The bench was low to the floor and my instinct was that he would be just fine. Clearly, not a fun thing to have happen, but he seemed upset and hurt, and not in an outrageous amount of pain. Still, I called my mom to get her opinion. As I was explaining what happened, I was very calm and collected–I’m used to medical issues and usually very matter-of-fact. I summed things up by telling my mother, “this is like a regular kid thing and I’m not exactly sure how to handle it.”
And then I started crying.
Friday we had a most-excellent visit with the high-risk doctor (the one who looks at the babies). It was a big visit with a growth scan as well as the usual staring at the brain fun. The babes came back within normal ranges–one in the 37th percentile at 2lbs 2oz. and the other in the 74th percentile at 2lbs. 7oz. She was explaining the different sizes and she said, “when the babies are born, they’ll probably be different sizes,” and I kid you not, I thought, “holy crap. This woman actually thinks I’m going to have two babies.”
In case it isn’t clear, I’m starting to panic a little about the twins. Specifically, that I don’t know how I’m going to handle two “normal” children. I mean, statistically, the chances are pretty good that these guys will be typical kids. No guarantees, of course, but I’m preparing for regular ole babies this time around.
But I don’t know anything about regular babies. Baby proofing? Never needed it. Nursing? No clue. The general development of small people? I’ve got nothin’. And what do people DO with their children all day long when they don’t have doctor’s appointments or therapist visits?
Those are my worries about the first couple of months. Looking down the road I can see that I’ll have to make decisions about preschool, regular school, and extracurricular activities. Toss in the fact that my husband was a “gifted” kid and I’m convinced that I don’t have the chops to do this.
How strange is it that disabled is my typical and typical is, well, odd?
**All of these beautiful pictures were taken by Cara Jouglard a local photographer, blogger, and twitter addict like myself**