What Would You Do?

Warning that today’s entry might get a bit graphic. If you don’t want an in-depth discussion of girly issues, then you might want to go enter the giveaway down below or try to find a picture of a kitten doing something cute.

So, I’m looking for the crowd’s advice this afternoon. Mostly because I don’t feel entirely comfortable judging this for myself. I could be in some sort of mommy talks to doctors Olympics, but when it comes to my own healthcare, I start flailing about like a goldfish that’s accidentally jumped out of the bowl.

So here’s the deal–and I am going to be overly detailed, you’ve been warned.


I get up and get Charlie off to school with no problems. I drink a large glass of water. I head to McDonalds to get my diet coke of the day and some biscuits. Consume those in rapid fashion and then decide to do a little shopping–I’m looking for stuff to the room that will one day become “the boys'” room, but will become Charlie’s room pretty soon.

So, I’m walking around, doing my thing, and suddenly my stomach starts tightening up. It feel

so strong that it makes me breathless and I find myself strangely clutching at my belly–as if that would help. These feelings came and went several times–at least six–before I got nervous and decided to leave.  Just to let you know how desperate things had gotten, I actually put down a piece of vintage pyrex (which I love) because I knew I couldn’t wait in line to pay for it. Meanwhile I’m also having what feels like waves of indigestion. I go home, lie down, drink water, and for the next 90 minutes my entire abdomen feel sore–as if I’ve been doing sit ups or some other strenuous activity.

I spend some time with my good friend, Dr. Google, and it seems like I’ve just had many of the symptoms of pre-term labor. Call the actual doctor, nurse returns my call and tells me this:

“Well, with two babies, you are going to be out of breath a lot. If you’re not still experiencing symptoms, you should be fine.”

The end.

I basically sat around crying for the rest of the afternoon. I felt like I had been blown off. I wasn’t sure if I should be avoiding walking around or picking up Charlie. I didn’t know anything about what had just happened to me and if it indicated something could be really wrong. I didn’t want to call back because I was afraid of being blown off again. Finally my husband convinced me to call Labor and Delivery. The nurse I spoke with told me it d

id sound like contractions and told me to stay lying down, drink water, and call my doctor first thing in the morning. Throughout most of the night I continued to have what I think were more like Braxton Hicks-like contractions. They were easy to get rid of with position changes.

I called the doctor again this morning with about a million questions. Namely, should I still be picking up Charlie, but also did they think I needed a cervical check? An hour and a half later they tell me yes, I can pick up Charlie, and that they’ll do a cervical check at my regular appointment next week.

So, I’m not really loving the situation. They were right–I’m fine today–but I’m walking around on pins and needles hoping it doesn’t happen again.

With Charlie, I know exactly what I want from a nurse/doctor. Half the time we’re collaborating and not just getting a consultation–I’m a respected part of his team.  With this situation, I am once again reduced to being just one more hyper-active mother-to-be. I get that there are a lot of us. Still, I’m a woman with one traumatic, emergency c-section under her belt and a disabled child at home. Plus, I’ve got twins this time around, which can also be tricky for no reason other than the twin factor. Is it too much to ask that they’re a little over-cautious with me?

If you’re still reading this, thanks, and I want to add two other tidbits to make sure I’m getting it all covered:

  1. A few weeks ago I called and told them I had food poisoning. I asked if I needed to take any precautions and they said no and told me to take Zofran. When I went to my next appointment and mentioned the food poisoning, it wasn’t even in my chart.
  2. The bebes had their big scans four weeks ago. When I went in a week later, the results were not back. I still have not heard anything about them.

So, do I stay or go? Hash it out with the doctor or see if a high-risk OBGYN will take me on? What would you do and am I just overreacting because of a previous bad experience?

boy looking down

Using my bra strap as a handle

**Wanted to thank all of you for taking the time to help me figure out the best way to proceed. I’ll update you as soon as I have figured this all out. Again, thank you for you reading and sharing your opinions–I am so grateful.**

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  1. I would GO, GO, GO!!! Find a new Doctor that actually cares and keeps good records! I don’t want to sound super negative but man after going through the trauma with Charlie I can’t even imagine what you are going through. When I finally got the courage up to get pregnant again last year and then miscarried I was a FREAK and ended up making the doctor give me four ultrasounds to prove to me what was going on :-)

    Trust your gut and if you don’t feel comfortable there…GO!

  2. I’ve had 2 high risk pregnancies. If you’re looking for an opinion, I say ditch the practice. My OB would never have told me to wait till the next day when I had contractions. I spent quite a bit of time in L&D. At times he was over-cautious, to be fair, but if I was ever concerned about anything he took me seriously. That’s why I trusted him to do an induction when my son started having trouble late in pregnancy. If I hadn’t trusted him I think I would have gone home and I don’t think that would have been the best choice in retrospect. Does that make sense?

    You have to be comfortable with your doctor and team. It sounds like you’ve had multiple less-than-ideal experiences thus far and that would make me feel uneasy.

    Good luck!

  3. ThatMandyGrrr says:

    I hated standing up to my doctor & I love her. Still, I would call around to high-risk obgyns & see if you can get in w any of them. I ended up on 3.5 months of bedrest. Started off w/ contractions then random bleeding, turns out my cervix was shortening & softening and I was having real contractions. Had to go on anti-contraction meds. I worried every moment . My second pregnancy I worried the whole time. I don’t know what I’m saying, just wishing I had pressed my point earlier.

  4. I agree with Renee. You deserve to have all of your concerns heard and validated. That’s what matters. The truth is, if stuff you share about your health isn’t ending up in your records, then someone at some point who might need to be making serious decisions about your care is going to be missing a piece of your puzzle. That’s just not okay. They’ve not instilled your confidence, and you don’t need more reasons to fret. Find someone else.

  5. After having Henry – I was totally nervous with Lewis! I cried at every OB appointment! Luckily, my OB and my GP were awesome. But when I started having early contractions, BOTH were on vacation!!
    I would try to come up with a plan with your OB at your next app. We went over all the options, and I felt less anxious knowing that we were all on the same page!
    I’m sorry you felt blown off! That’s a terrible feeling!
    <3 My heart goes out to you! Being a hyperactive over-dramatic mom, is a good thing. You have every right to get care for yourself and ALL your babies!
    You're a good mom!

  6. Argggghhhhh…

    You know what? I would pursue the high-risk OB. I am right there with you on not wanting to be “that” patient who is super needy/drama-mama, but come on! You are in a special situation because of your history and having twins now.

    When I was pregnant, I remember having so much anxiety over not being sure if I knew what I was supposed to know. I think that because it is so routine for OBs to see a gamut of issues, they forget that not all pregnant women are automatically equipped with the knowledge about when something is or is not a big deal.

    But the bottom line is that you deserve to be a little special right now, to be treated with kid gloves at least a little bit. It’s a terrible feeling to be blown off by your doctor. If they need to roll their eyes when they hang up the phone with you, so be it, but they should at least be letting you know that they are taking you seriously if you have stuff going on.

    When you are having these contractions, is your belly tight and hard like a muscle being flexed? When I was pregnant, that is what they told me was the best indicator of Braxton-Hicks as opposed to true pre-term labor. (It’s been a few years now, but I think I remember being told that B-H are more like your uterus “training” itself for labor and not to be as concerned about that, but to lie on my left side and drink water with them, just as you are doing.) I was admitted on hospital bedrest for about 12 hours and did have some “true” contractions before my C-section–let me tell you, that is a whole other feeling altogether, definitely painful.

    Hang in there and good luck!

  7. Wow! All important stuff that needs to be addressed. A talk with the dr. is most definately in order. It is very reasonable for you to expect them to be extra cautious with you & your babies. It is very reasonable for you to be extra cautious. Having information missing from your file is unacceptable; waiting 4 weeks for scans is even more unacceptable in my book.
    As for feeling your stomach tightening up, I’ve felt those too & boy they really did scare me. I felt them several times starting around mid-second trimester, when I started to get really big on the outside due to Little Man’s ever expanding head. It was explained to me that his head size, coupled with the fact that he was already vertex was causing the tightening up. They scheduled my c-section at 38 wks./5 dys. with a notation that I may need one sooner. Thankfully, we made it to the scheduled date:) There could be a reasonable answer for those tighening feelings.
    I’ll be sending up prayers & jingles for you.

  8. I would totally change doctors – a twins pregnancy IS a “high risk” pregnancy and he should be taking better care of you than he is! Get a doctor who will give you the care that you NEED! You’re awesome at fighting for your son, fight for yourself too :) :) xox

  9. I would switch. You have a lot of time and a lot of questions left in this pregnancy. You are barely past the halfway point. I would switch to someone that will understand the risks and is willing to communicate better. That is what I would do. I hope your decision puts you at ease, whatever it is. :)

  10. katy, youve already gotten great advice so not much left to say, just wanted to share that with both belle’s pregnancy and this pregnancy i have been jointly followed by an OB and a perinatologist simply because of Nathan’s issues. Definitely get a 2nd opinion and simply mentioning Charlie’s problems should be enough to get you ini with a perinatologist. Then, IF the perinatologist thinks everything’s ok, you can still be followed by a regular OB. In the mentime – try to meditate, pray, relax – all this stuff is terrifying, especially after already having a BI child, so trying to stay calm is hard but really important!

  11. I don’t think you are asking too much, especially with what you have already experienced.

  12. My two cents at 2:30 in the morning here is this:

    You have every right known to man to feel the way you do about this pregnacy when things seem a little concerning. Your words of “one traumatic emergency cesarian under her belt and a disabled child” gives you all the right in the world to demand all the prenatal care now and then some. I wouldn’t even be afraid to say that to a nurse or doctor as a little friendly reminder (because it seems they have forgotten) for why you are being what they seem to feel is over-cautious. And hello, TWO babies. Go where you will be given the attention that the 3 of you need. You won’t regret it. Keep us posted…

  13. Switch. You’ll probably doubt yourself from here on out with the OB you have (for fear of being blown off) and that is NOT a good thing. If you can find a high risk dr. who you feel comfortable risk, run don’t walk away from where you are at now.

    Hugs. I am glad things calmed down. I can imagine how terrified you were!

  14. Katy, I would be with the high risk doc already if I were you, so I’d certainly go now. The downside is that they follow you almost too closely, I could have done with a bit fewer non stress tests. They also reacted strongly to any numbers that were out of whack, like having high blood pressure at my 38th week when I had just walked all the way in from the parking terrace in 100 degree temps because it was a holiday and the hospital’s valet service wasn’t operating. But, of course, anything to not have hospital babies is worth it in my book.

  15. Adrienne says:

    Go to the hospital. That’s what it’s there for. If you don’t go and something is wrong you won’t get a redo and telling yourself you did what the docs and nurses told you to do won’t fix anything. The worst that happens is you get a bit embarrassed for worrying – tiny, tiny price to to pay for piece of mind. That’s what I wish I’d done. Instead I delivered at 24 weeks. Lots of love and strength coming your way.

  16. I would “over-react” and seek out a high-risk Dr. I’m surprised a regular OBGYN would even take you on with carrying twins. That reason alone makes me question him or her. It seems to me you should be in a high-risk clinic anyways. And I don’t feel they should have responded to you so casually like they did. These are still developing, unborn babies!! Their health greatly depends on smart decisions and answers that should come quickly. Especially not for weeks waiting for scans and reports. Sounds to me the doctor’s office is too regular and treats things like stuff doesn’t go wrong in pregnancy, when we all know better. I just had my 2nd baby born 8 weeks ago and I put myself in the hands of the high-risk clinic right from the start. Through this 2nd pregnancy I never felt like that was being over-reactive. In fact I felt much more at ease to be with doctors that looked at things thoroughly and realistically, and that was actually quite peaceful. Those high-risks OBGYNs are experts for things that go wrong so when I turned to them with questions, if it didn’t raise concern for them then it won’t for me either. But regular OBGYN’s, I think they take things for granted too much because in their field they only see the regular stuff.

    Good luck Katy. I’ll be thinking about you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. And when you feel yourself growing tense just concentrate on your breathing. Deep, long, and slow for a few breaths while letting the shoulders drop as you relax. It really does help – both in mind and physiologically!

  17. Katy, you’re not getting the care you NEED. You’re already a little bit more nervous than the average mama because you know a little too much. You need to find a doctor who can offer you the TLC you need and deserve. Plus, if things aren’t showing up in your chart, who knows what IS?! You need to do what’s best for you and those boys (Little Dan and Daniel- you’re naming them both after me, right?!!!)

    By the way, I clicked on the kitten picture- needed that giggle!

  18. MelissaInk Designs says:

    I think seeking out another doctor is fine. I also think waiting till your next appointment and discussing your concerns with the doctor and seeing his/her reaction is fine too. I guess you could do both. Was it the nurse you spoke to on the phone (with the food poisoning and the contractions)? It’s possible what was communicated to the nurse was not communicated to the doctor.

    Also, I wouldn’t hesitate to go the ER. I’ve been twice with dehydration. One time I was treated like a queen and the next time I had a grumpy nurse who wanted to know why I hadn’t gone in to my doctor for this and “Well, what do you want us to do?” He was such an ass hat and I was too sick to be bitchy and insist on another nurse.

    Anyway, I think whatever you decide is OK. It’s still early enough that I think you’re solid leaving, but if you want to work things out – there’s time for that too.

  19. Get a new doctor. Not that I think anything is wrong but because you need to be able to call them with every little concern and they listen to you. You need to feel comfortable saying I am just worried and they take you seriously. Get a new one if for nothing else for your mental health!

  20. Katy, I would change to a high risk OBGYN TODAY! You are not getting the care you need. You will feel much more comfortable and safe with a high risk OB, I did with Ryan, after all problems I had with CJ at birth. If you feel that way again today I would go to the hospital just to be save.

  21. I’d probably find a new doctor you’re confortable with. Even if your current dr is ok, you clearly don’t trust him/her and I’d also wonder about the scan from 4 weeks ago. Frankly I’d be calling to get that dealt with asap.

    In the meantime it does sound like you’re ok but take it easy and hang in there.

  22. Oh shoot. What a lousy situation for you.

    If it were me, I’d be struggling to choose between (1) having a serious and potentially awkward conversation with my OB about needing more attentive and precise care for exactly the (very good) reasons you’ve mentioned here, or (2) changing to a high risk OB right away. You are not over-reacting. Not at all. You are the mother. You have to trust yourself.


  23. Paulette says:

    Sorry, but I think it’s time to get a new doc. And when you leave make sure they know why. I was such a hyper-concerned pregnant lady this time around, and so were my doctors. I would also recommend getting a high-risk doctor, although I’m not sure if you would qualify- it won’t hurt to do a consultation and find out. You definitely at least need & deserve a doctor who understands about your last pregnancy and who can take any concerns with this pregnancy very seriously! It’s twins for crying out loud. Be the squeaky wheel!

  24. I’m biased because I saw an MFM exclusively but I have reservations about an OB who thinks that twins are no big deal and treats them as such. I remember asking my doc “But I’m not high risk, because it’s just twins, right?” She responded “You’re high risk because it’s twins”.

    My doc was very, very conservative. I had cervical length checks every 2 weeks starting at 14 weeks until 28 weeks. I had growth scans every 4 weeks, and I had the results of everything that day. The u/s were done by a tech and then the doctor reviewed the scans, and then came in to take any extra looks, or to just talk about things with me.

    Around 12 weeks or so, I was going through a ton of stress, when the sale of our house almost fell through. I had a major anxiety attack, decided that because the house sale was falling through (we’d been on the marked for 2 years, were under contract on a new house, and only had 2 bedrooms so we had to get OUT) everything else was going to fall apart, too. I called and BEGGED for an u/s to make sure everyone was okay. They weren’t happy with it and thought I was kind of crazy, but they still got me squeezed in for a quick peek at the babies. I think had I called with suspected contrax where you are, I would have been told to come in for an NST and an u/s ASAP.

    I would call an MFM and explain that your doctor is treating your twin pregnancy like a singleton PG, that you have one child with disabilities, and you need more monitoring, and will they take you on? My doc’s office took me on as a patient even before I had a twin PG, because I’d consulted with the doc over an issue (MTHFR) and then when I found out I was PG, didn’t have a regular OB/GYN. It was just a wonderful coincidence at the first u/s at 6w and change that they saw twins and then I needed her services more than I would have otherwise.

  25. I have lots of experience with pre term labor vs. Braxton Hicks, and yet I still can never tell for sure. For me, I can be having real, honest to goodness contractions that are causing cervical change over time, and yet it doesn’t feel painful to me, just like pressure and out-of-breathness. So, I try to err on rather-safe-than-sorry side and this time around started getting cervix checks at thirty weeks… even though I feel like a hypochondriac. With my next, I’m actually considering cerclage just so I don’t have to worry about it! All that to say, with twins and with a high risk past, I think a cervix check is completely in order.
    And I have lots of opinions about birth and stuff, but my BIGGEST opinion is that the number one factor in how happy you are with your birth experience (and therefore how peaceful an environment your children will be born into) is how respected and listened to you feel by your health care provider, be that a doctor or a midwife or WHATEV. You need to feel like they take you seriously and don’t patronize you or make decisions over your head. They are working for YOU, not the other way around. Which I know you know in terms of Charlie’s care for sure, but I say it’s the same way even now. Just cause you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you’re suddenly to be disregarded as a hysterical female! So if you’re ticked at your ob, by all means find another one! Switching practitioners was one of the best decisions I ever made.

  26. Around here, high risk OBs only work on a consult basis with a regular OB. We’re seeing both right now, in a co-management sort of situation.

    All that said…I think at your next appointment (or maybe make an appointment sooner) you need to tell this doctor your concerns with the situation, and see what he says…..but in the meanwhile, I’d be calling around for other options.

  27. Go find a high-risk OB/GYN. WIthout a second thought, do it. Go. I can almost guarantee this won’t be the last time you have those contractions, and as time goes on you’ll only get more and more nervous and you’ll want someone that will take you seriously.
    I know the braxton hicks started earlier and were significantly stronger with each of my pregnancies. And you’re carrying twins! I don’t think it’s too much to ask for them to NOT blow you off like every other paranoid, hyper mother-to-be. Sounds like they need to check your chart a couple more times–do they not see what you went through with Charlie?

  28. What happened yesterday sounds like it’s fine now. I really know ZERO about pregnancy, but that sounds like it’s passed. It also sounds like you’re not getting the best care possible from your doctor. Not getting results from things back is a giant pet peeve of mine.

  29. I wouldn’t hesitate one instant and having a full blown Nadine Tizzy on them to make them see that You are not TYPICAL!

    sorry for any misspelled words.

    But being put on hold or blown off is not acceptable!! at all.

  30. I’m going to agree with your other commenters- go somewhere else. It sounds like they’re not taking you seriously or validating your concerns. That’s really not okay. Your care shouldn’t be an added stress.

  31. Definitely find a new doctor. This is the person that you are not only counting on to NOT blow you off now, but to bring your babies safely into the world. My pregnancy with Sammie B was somewhat difficult, and I felt like my OB blew a few things off. Who knows if it would have made a difference if he’d listened to me (all signs point to “no,”) but I’ve since changed OBs for the next pregnancy — I just don’t want to have those burning questions. There are MULTIPLE signs here pointing to blowing you off — so I say make a run for it. I hope you are able to get into a high risk doctor. I love the one I plan to see with my next one (I went to talk to one already about getting pregnant since my Sammie B has undiagnosed developmental delays and my pregnancy with her was less than typical). Anyway, though, many high risk doctors don’t actually deliver babies, they just see you throughout your pregnancy and then come into the labor if necessary. So, you might still need another regular OB OR you could (if you really don’t want to change) keep seeing your OB but also have the high-risk as sort of a double check. I hope its smooth sailing from here on out, mama. You don’t need extra worries!

  32. Go with your gut! Pursue a new doc. It’s too important to be worrying about what ifs.

  33. Katy–I haven’t read any of the comments yet–I will–GET TO THE DOCTOR.

    I have had two bouts of premature labor, resulting in E (33w, she has CP) and Viv (28w, typically developing and made it to term). I don’t know what the difference between Braxton-Hicks and “normal” contractions are, but if you have to put a plate down, to me–that’s a real frakkin’ contraction. Even if it doesn’t hurt–it’s THERE.

    I was a wreck with Vivian. I barely felt my contractions with her–after I saw my infinitesimal cervix on the u/s, I thought it was OVER. 28 weeks. Two hospitals threw everything they could at me, short of plugging me up. Viv MADE IT. I never thought she’d be term–I was certain we’d be headed for the NICU again, and worse.

    Doctor’s don’t know how to stop preterm labor–it’s a guessing game, but one definitely worth playing. Any time you feel uncertain, CALL THAT DOC or get another one. If I wasn’t under high-risk care (regular ob + perinatologist follow-up, basically that just means lots of appointments with my regular doc) I would have missed it and delivered Viv early. I am SURE of that.

    They might be able to help. If you are uncertain, call them. They WANT you to.

    Please update when you can! Sending calm, baby-stay-put vibes, even though this message doesn’t sound like it!!!

  34. Find a different doctor or practice. If you don’t, you’re going to feel resentful for your entire pregnancy, and that won’t be good for you or the twins. Also, I know several ladies who had preterm labor and they all went on to have healthy babies.

  35. I read frequently, but don’t comment often. I am an L and D RN and am surprised this is what your doc told you. #1…you are pregnant with twins #2….you have a “history” (talking about birth experience with Charlie). Just because of #2; we health professionals EXPECT you to be overcautious. EXPECT IT. and #1 puts you at risk for more complications. I always tell moms to trust your intuition. I would rather see you 50 times and send you back home than for you to stay home worried. In my opinion; I would find someone who listens to your concerns; even if that is not a high risk OB. Where I live, we have plenty of “regular OB’s” that are good with twins; but I don’t know if that is the same across the country. In the mean time, if you still are contracting; I would swing by the L and D and have them check you out. We have a triage unit DEDICATED to things of this nature. They should monitor the babies, check your urine for a bladder infection (common for pregnant women…even without UTI symptoms) and check your cervix. Standard practice (at least where I work).
    Looks like you’ve had lots advice in this same direction. Just my .02

  36. I would most definitely keep after them. Just go to the office and make them see you. And I would also call a High Risk Doctor and start seeing them. I was brushed off once and came to find out I shouldn’t have been. I will pray for you and those babies. And Charlie too. Take care

  37. I of course do not have the experience of what you have gone through however I myself had an emergency c-section due to my baby not responding on U/S and then heart rate dropping when I was contracting. It’s all so scary no matter what so for that nurse to dismiss you wasn’t right. She should understand with as many patients as they see that she needs to be patient and compassionate.

    For me the issue with not having the scan back would be a big issue. My doctor went out on maternity leave when I was 5 months pregnant and I saw other doctors. For the most part they were great however it was missed that I had polyhydramnios we didn’t find out until I was 8 months pregnant when my doctor came back. Even though nothing bad happened with that diagnosis sometimes there can be issues and I would’ve liked to have known 3 months prior so we could’ve been monitoring it because I had to go in every week after that.

    I would share your concerns with your doctor and see how you feel. If you don’t get the caring, patient vibe then I would try and get on with the High Risk. No one should have to worry all afternoon or night about whether you should be picking Charlie up or going to L&D.

    Good Luck

  38. Mary Ann says:

    Go for the high risk OB or even just another OB. You need to feel heard and understood through your pregnancy and delivery especially after a traumatic experience previously and twins this time around. Good Luck! :)

  39. Not sure how if works in the USA, but in South Africa we or our medical insurance would be paying a ridiculous amount for every doctor’s visit and scan. If the result of a scan is not available four weeks afterward, it means that somebody has paid for a service they have not received. Even if your doctor’s visits are “free” and subsidized by the state, you are still paying for them via taxes. If you are concerned enough to phone in, the very least a doctor’s office should be doing is get the doctor to phone you back and ask firsthand how you feel. I would change practice and make sure the current practice knows why. Even if you don’t change to high-risk, just change to somebody who does his job.

  40. I would change doctors. I jumped with just about every little thing with my first. My doctor would tell me things were alright over the phone, but would follow it with if it makes me feel better to come in and they will listen to the heartbeat. I would be more worried with 2 babies, so I would want a doctor that was a little more attentive. I am sure this is old hat for him/her, but not for you. I always go with the mother. Glad to hear the pain stopped. Some of it can be really bad. I was walking around the mall one day with my first and this pain just came over me. I had to leave and was crying by the time I got to the car. I called the doctor and he said it was just my pelvis spreading. Damn, that is painful.

  41. alexandra cunningham says:

    i would absolutely find a new doctor.

  42. I would find a new doc. I had contractions quite a bit starting at your point in the pregnancy, and ended up having to take terbutaline until I hit 36 weeks. And then I went overdue, and had to be induced. That, however, is not the point! My doctor was very responsive to my needs and concerns. Your doctor should be too.

  43. Okay, Katy. I haven’t read the other posts so this may be repetitive. You MUST see a high risk OB. When my placenta abrupted with Nathan, it was an initial searing pain followed by several less painful waves. If I hadn’t been breathless, I would have been screaming with pain. For the next little while I experienced what felt like bruised contractions. Eventually it did feel better. I was blown off by L&D and my midwife group. A few days later, however, there was no fetal movement, irritable contractions and a baby with brain damage. After delivery when they examined the placenta there had been a tear that at some point tried to heal itself.

    I was very nervous with my pregnancy with Stewy last year. I wasn’t as interested in the whole natural midwifey thing at this point. I wanted someone who delivered his own patients and actually knew what he was doing. I went with high risk OB who I trusted implicitly. He was an arrogant cuss but the best surgeon in town. He was watchful of every hiccup and wasn’t into playing hero or guessing games. I was grateful for his vigilance and caution when I abrupted again and fully hemorrhaging. Within 16 minutes of the abruption he had Stewy safely out and with the neonatololgy team.

    It makes such a huge difference, even if the outcome is tragic (which for us it wasn’t), to feel like your provider did everything in his or her power to bring your child/children safely into the world. Had Stewy been injured or worse, I’d still be able to thank my OB for his care. Seriously, I was doubtful of so many things in my pregnancy with Nathan when it came to my care. I should have trusted my guts more. My most recent OB listened to my fears, respected them, but didn’t let me wallow in it. That is vastly different from being blown off. I trusted him and for the kind of pregnancy you have experienced and are experiencing now you need a doctor who you trust quite literally with your life and your babies’.

    Anyway, you hit a nerve with me. I think you should go in to have your placenta checked for any sign of tearing. Placental tears are much more common with multiples, if you have diabetes or if your uterus is distended or has been in the past. Gahhhh. I just wish I had been more obnoxious and insisted on a cervical check and ultrasound when I went to labor and delivery that day. It’s awful how insecure and self-conscious we become when we’re pregnant. We lose all confidence and back down way too quickly when a nurse says “oh, those are just braxton-hicks” or “it was just your round ligament, honey. ” I’m haunted by a lot of things, as you can tell.

    Please, Katy, you more than anyone know what gut instinct feels like. You go be the most obnoxious, paranoid, well-known, troublesome, “OH-it-is-her-again” expectant mother of twins that your OB and Labor and Delivery have ever seen. At least you will have no regrets.

    • Wow, just read all the comments and I have a decided lack of ability to be succinct. Sorry. But I must add MORE. TWINS are HIGH RISK and your past pregnancy makes you high-risk as well. Its a double whammy so go get that new doc.

  44. Change. see a high risk OB/GYN. I did for my 2nd son and am happy to have had what seems like a thousand stress tests and ultrasounds but it put my mind at ease. so I’m all for the high risk OB/GYN.

  45. you need to be heard, attended, and understood….
    I’d change Dr.s and practices ASAP if possible.

    and if you get scared like that again, going to the ER is ok!! really…the stress from the physical symptoms and then being blown off- and STILL not knowing PROOF POSITIVE that the sprouts are ok is too much to deal with.

  46. Katy , I know I am late in the game and lots of folks have put in already but…I have been through the same thing when I was pregnant as far as treatment and I regret not seeking another doctor. I had a serious case of the flue with temps above 103 for three days and couldn’t even get a return phone call until I showed up in the office with no appointment. The practice called in a script for me and when I pick it up The bottle carried a label that said do not take if you are pregnant or nursing!

    I now feel like if you aren’t stellar happy with your doctor it’s time to throw in the towel and find one you are happy with…it’s just jot worth the risks.

  47. Wow. Some of what you said reminded me all too much of my experience with my twins. The one thing I really learned with them is to trust your body. And it sounds to me like you are thinking you should switch doctors if you can — so, do it!

    I had a “feeling” at the beginning of my twin pregnancy that I should switch doctors, which I dismissed as unnecessary and kind of silly. When I told the doctor that I had read that my type of pregnancy had a 15% chance of TTTS, she said “Oh, that hardly ever happens.” When I started to feel that something was wrong, and tried to move up my next scheduled ultrasound, I was told, “We don’t have any openings before your next scheduled time — twins take so long.” When I, horrified, realized that I hadn’t felt my babies move in the same way for a few days, I called the nurse and was told, “Twin pregnancies feel different. Just eat something and lie down to make sure you can feel some movement.” It wasn’t until a few days after that, and only four days before my next scheduled visit, that I finally called and uncharacteristically assertively told them, “I NEED to come in today. Something is wrong,” that the TTTS was diagnosed. The perinatologist later told me that, had I waited until my next scheduled visit four days later, both my babies would have died. As it was, one suffered a bilateral grade 4 ivh as a result of the TTTS being so advanced. I try not to wonder what might have been different if I had trusted my gut at the beginning and switched to a different ob/gyn group, or if I had been more assertive earlier.

    I know you are not at risk for TTTS, but there can be other twin complications. Please, please trust yourself and do what you know is best, no matter how silly or unnecessary you might try to convince yourself it is.

  48. If you don’t trust your dr, switch. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s twins, doesn’t matter what your previous history is, if you feel your concerns aren’t being addressed, then switch.

    I’ve also learned that if I think something is wrong, to call and say “I’m worried that something isn’t right, I need to see the dr today.” rather than call and ask a question. They’d either fit me in or send me to L&D to be checked.

  49. Go. There’s a better practice out there for you, no doubt in my mind.

  50. It is the doctor’s job to make you feel safe and cared for. Call, call, CALL! You know how you feel and what you want and you have every right to expect and demand you get it. You won’t be the first woman to change doctors, mid-pregnancy notwithstanding.

  51. Hi,

    Go to a new doc, someone who specializes in high risk pregnancies. My son has CP. If one of his many docs made me feel 1/0 of the way you feel, I would switch them, and based on your past posts I believe you would too. You need to take care of yourself with the same discipline and judgement as you do your son. Good luck – will be thinking of and praying for you.


  52. I am super, super late to this party. And for that I apologize. I saw the whole ‘woman’s issues’ thing and headed for ze hills, thinking it had something to do with that ‘OTHER’ woman’s issue. Well, I had been missing reading your stuff, so I started reading, and holy crap did I get served a dish of DON’T MISS AN EPISODE OF BIRD ON THE STREET.


    First of all, it blows me away every time I even think about you being pregnant. I push it out of my mind, same as I have with EVERY OTHER MOTHER I have encountered in our Club who had a child with a disability and then proved their testicular fortitude was greater than mine ever would be (not ENTIRELY true, but still*) and decided to give it another go.

    To say I admire you is the understatement of the Century.

    That being said, I also recognize your neurosis, and admire it with an EQUAL amount of respect. :) But you probably SHOULD have it, and who could blame you. But…cautionary…I’m assuming that over-stressing has been discussed with you as well, and that you don’t want to put that kind of pressure on yourself.

    I just hope you have enough help down there in NAWLINS. I hear it is a tight-knit community. Hope that the rumors are true.

    *We did in fact make the attempt for another, but it didn’t go so well and we lost that one, so I have to at least give us credit for giving it the old ‘college try’ on the Teste Meter. Too bad we were much younger when we were in college. 😛