Stress? What Stress?

Let’s see. . . in the last seven days:

  • I had the Very Scary Contractions Incident
  • I had two nights of Braxton Hicks that had me pacing the house for whatever reason
  • We’ve hosted two sets of house guests–a single girlfriend in town for a night and a family of four.
  • We’ve been to Earth Fest in the park
  • I’ve had about 50 people tell me to get a new OBGYN
  • I’ve received 25 recommendations for a new OBGYN
  • I called one OBGYN (most-recommended) who can’t see me without a referral from my current doc. I might have cried a little at that point.
  • I taught a social media for beginners class at the library
  • And Charlie came home with 5th Disease–a mild virus that’s really only concerning to people with blood diseases like sickle cell and, you guessed it, pregnant women.

It has been a crazy, worrisome, and confusing week. I’ve found myself crying at the drop of a hat, but I also love having house guests and love teaching my classes, so there have been some good moments. By the time I heard about Charlie and the Fifth’s Disease, I pretty much had nothing left–I just walked out of the pediatrician’s office in a daze.

I was going to cancel the appointment with my OBGYN and start looking for a new one, but the whole Fifth’s Disease thing requires immediate attention, so back to the doc I went.

boy looks at bird sitting on nest

I’m really struggling here because I like the doctor–I’m just not sure I trust him. They said I would get a cervical check, and I didn’t. I asked about my ultrasound and he told me it was fine, but I’m a little suspicious since he only had one piece of paper in his hand. I’ve spent a lot of time in doctor’s offices–so much time that I’m pretty good at recognizing the signs when they come in without looking over your chart. I’ve even had one doctor excuse himself to go check the chart because guess what? I ask a lot of questions.

So, I know I need a new doctor, but I also know it will be a lot harder than I hoped it would be. I’ve also got the added stress of knowing I’ve been exposed to a disease that’s not good for the twinkies.

I’m working on keeping my head above water. I’m looking at ways to limit or reduce my stress. These days I’m going to start training a high school student who will be walking Charlie home from school. I’m in the process of looking for someone to help with Charlie during the week as well–we’ll definitely need someone once school lets out. I’m doing what I can and trying not to worry about too much at one time.

We’ll see how I do.

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  1. ((hugs))

  2. Whew! What a week! It sounds like you are doing some great things to help relieve your stress level (like training the high school student to walk home with Charlie — which will probably be good for the student too, right?). Sorry about the Fifth’s Disease. Rotten! Are you considering switching to a perinatologist rather than just a regular obgyn? I think you would need a referral for that, but that seems like a reasonable thing to request with twins and a crazy delivery last time (and Fifth’s Disease worries). Better luck this next week!

    • Yes, I pretty much called and just talked about how stressful things were and asked for the referral.

      The student is considering become a special needs teacher, so this is a great opportunity for her to see first hand what some of the kids are like.

  3. Lord girl…you’re having a rough go of it. I’ve been thinking and wondering about you a lot so thanks for posting and letting us all know. I really hope you get a new OB-GYN or perinatoligist soon. Keep us posted. Hugs.

  4. It’s okay if you have to ask your OB for a referral. I had to do that too, and I kinda felt bad about it, but by that point (I was 20ish weeks) I had figured out my OB was in way over his head with my pregnancy (one placenta, three babies, not sure if two were monoamniotic) so I just asked. And then my new doctor made me “break up” with my OB. Man, that was worse than breaking up with my high school boyfriend. But, you know, the babies come first.

    Hope everything else works itself out!

    • They made you break up? Ack! I’m pretty sure they won’t do that to me–I’ve got a very straight-forward twin pregnancy–two sacs, two placentas, two babies. I can’t believe your original OB even wanted to work with a triplet pregnancy! That is just unknown territory.

  5. Ruth Evans says:

    Is there a perinatology center in your area? With my boys, I had once a month ultrasounds (at least), where they were able to check their growth, cord blood flow, and make sure my cervix was closed. I think they used the ultrasound to check my cervix, because they dis not want to physically check it until I progressed further in my pregnancy. I had Braxton Hicks contractions from 20 weeks on, and it can be scary. Hang in there. I was wondering if you have a private physician who could write you a referral for the new OB, so you could go around your current practice.

    • Ruth, that is a great suggestion, but I just braced myself and asked my OB for the referral. They were suprisingly easy going about the whole thing.

  6. Ah Katy,

    You have been through a lot this week. Go with your gut. If you are not comfortable, do what is right for you and the babies. Thinking good thoughts and hoping that everything works out just fine. Hang in there mom, it does get better, promise..

  7. So sorry to hear that things have been so stressful! Glad you are working on getting some help with Charlie and you are getting to do some things you enjoy. Praying that the doc situation gets resolved soon so you will have one less thing to be concerned about. I know you hate confrontation so getting a referral from the old doc is probably the last thing you wanted to hear. I saw that someone else asked if you could get a referral from a family doc instead? If not, I have no doubt that you will do what is right for you and the boys. In your last post you said that you were good at fighting for Charlie but not for yourself. Just think of this as getting an early start on fighting for your twins. Praying Charlie and you and the boys stay healthy!

    • You are, of course, correct. I bucked up and called the doc and asked for that referral. Wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

  8. I just read your last post too and am all caught up now. Geez girl, I hope things ease up for you a bit. I’m sorry that your current doctor isn’t working out. That’s just stress you DEFINITELY don’t need. I’ll send good thoughts and pray that things can calm down and you can get much needed rest for you and those babies you are growing! xo

    • Yeah, it’s been a rough week, but things are starting to look up today, so I’ll take that as a good sign.

  9. Mom in Maryland says:

    Though it’s incredibly stressful and much easier said than done, don’t put off finding a new doctor for too long… your Mommy instincts are telling you something’s not right and you should definitely listen to your gut! We had put off finding the “right” pediatrician for our daughter when she was born and settled for one that we knew would need a replacement. We knew things weren’t quite right, but we had little time to find a replacement and put it off for a future time. Well, our daughter got really sick one month after being born and I called her then doctor’s office over and over again for help. They either didn’t answer, or I was disconnected repeatedly, or got the voicemail, or when I finally did get through, they blew me off and told me that everything was fine, she probably just had gas, to give her drops for the gas, and to put her in the football hold. Turns out she was fighting a life-threatening infectious disease, we almost lost her, and she’s now recovering from the brain injury as a result. If I could go back, I would have immediately found a new doctor for her that we could trust. So trust your gut!!!! Find a new doc as soon as possible.

    • You are, of course, correct and I shouldn’t wait until there’s a problem to look for someone new. I had reservations about my OBGYN with Charlie and that worked out very poorly in the end. I’m seeing a fetal health specialist on Monday, so hopefully things will work out just fine.

  10. Shame Katy! What a week! I like Ruth’s advice, namely to go round getting a referral from the OB you currently see by using a regular practitioner. Although, quite frankly, I don’t see why it is reasonable for the new OB to expect one. Surely, a patient is quite capable to tell the new doc what she knows. The reason why you are moving is precisely because you don’t trust the previous guy – in which case the new doc needs to do his own investigations. I’m not really one for sparing OBs feelings. I like the breed little enough that I’m capable of marching into an office, asking them for a referral and telling them exactly why. But I know you’re much kinder than me… :-)

    • I put on my big girl pants (kind of) and told them with all the factors involved, I’d feel better if someone was keeping an eye on the babies. It worked!

  11. Jeeeeze, woman! You’ve got wayyy too much going on. I don’t blame you for feeling the stress, not one little bit. I have no advice because what you have going on is a whole different brand of stress than what I have and I don’t even know how to handle mine! All I can say is I’m praying for you and those babies, both in and outside of their mother. :)

    • Thanks for the prayers. Any major life change is full of stress. I actually think I’m handling things better this time around then I did with Charlie–even though more craziness is going on.

  12. I’m so sorry for the stress! Just what you need when you’re pregnant. I’m praying for you, too!

    • Thanks, Sarah. I feel like pregnancy makes me stress-y. I’m pretty sure that’s not a word, but that’s how I feel. I just worry about the babies SO MUCH.

  13. I’m so relieved you wrote. I’ve been worried about you and checking back to see if there’s an update. Sorry about the stress but glad there have been some good times in your week.

  14. Trust your spidy sense about your doctor. I always regretted when I didn’t with my kiddo and I promised myself after the last incident that I would everytime from now on. Give yourself the same level of care you would give Charlie and its ok to be demanding and questionning when you are concerned and worried. Be strong.

  15. I passed along your search for help to my babysitter in NOLA.

  16. *hug*

  17. Girl, someone didn’t the memo that pregnant should be exempt from stresses. I’ve been under a bit of the shit myself but like you, just trying to trudge on. I’m hoping your babies are well and fine and of course, same for Charlie. Hugs to you, my friend. Keep us in the loop… we care.

  18. let’s make that read “pregnant women” … see, I’m a mess.

  19. Joanne Giroux says:

    My grandson has Apraxia and with all the decisions my daughter has to make~talk about stress~ I’ve told her to follow her “gut” feeling, and everytime she does the decisions she has made have been ‘right on’ target. Please follow your gut feeling. You are right, something is wrong here. If you can not see an ‘at risk’ Obgyn at least get a second opinion . Don’t waste anytime!
    Good Luck!

  20. Sorry to hear about your stressful week. Happy to see you are moving forward with making your life less stressful. I tend to curl up in a ball and whine when life gets stressful.

    I can’t believe you are having so much trouble getting a referral. My last pregnancy was a single, but because I am old (36 yrs old at the time) I was sent to a peri-whatever and got once a month ultrasounds. I think that is because I passed on all those tests they want you to do when you are AMA.

    Good Luck and keep moving forward.

  21. Laws child! (I just wanted to say “laws” because you are Southern. We don’t say that in Utah.) You have had a plateful. I wish I could make you dinner. I think that right now, while you have all this extra time, you should set up a PO Box so your internet friends can make you dinners and mail them overnight in little coolers and then we can feed you the way we would if we were neighbors. I hope you don’t spend any more thoughts or energy feeling bad about firing a doctor. You would terminate a business relationship with any other kind of professional if you thought you needed greater expertise, but because you like the doctor and develop personal feelings of trust and you have shared the experience of having gone through things together then you feel this hesitation, which makes sense, because you are quite obviously a “people person” but this situation requires you to take the best approach for you and the twinkles. I went to the high risk perinatologists and in a way it is a downer – to have extra monitoring requires a lot more visits, more testing – just more, more, more of everything but in the end, I don’t think you’ll be sorry you were extra careful unless you have (and this is what I wish for you) the most boring and dull twin pregnancy in the annals of OB practice. And if you do, and the extra effort was wasted – oh well, your mind will be on other things. A LOT of other things!! Best of luck, Katy dear. I am sure that things will calm down somewhat . . . and how exciting for Charlie, to be so independent – ambulating home with his friend and on his own wheels, out of the car and experiencing things in a face to face way. That is exciting!!