I’ve been busy. Not with one particular thing, but many, many small things.
There’s a pile of things I could do with Charlie–I feel like the suggestions are coming fast and furious and while I want to chase down every lead, I don’t have the energy that I used to.
We’ve got big changes to make in our house–we’re turning a barely-used nursery into an office/guest room and a guest room in a “boy’s room”
We have things to buy–a van, a stroller for three, another car seat, carpet that’s less than 20 years old, and miscellaneous items to prepare for the arrival of not one, but two newborns.
I’ve been working a little–helping local businesses get their Facebook pages up and running, explaining how Twitter works, and basically getting paid to teach people about all this stuff that I love–that’s pretty cool. I do tend to stress myself out over really basic stuff, though. Stuff like charging people money or being assertive about what I know.
And while no one thing is very overwhelming, I guess the totality of things must be getting to me because the other day as I was driving home, I had a panic attack.
I’ve never had one before, so at first I had no idea what was going on. I was just driving along, thinking about my to-do list, and then BAM! I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I had an overwhelming urge to escape–although I don’t know what I wanted to escape exactly. I called my husband who muttered something incredibly helpful like, “whaaaaa?” and hung up when I realized he’d be approximately zero help.
I continued to drive (there was no where to pull over) and finally it occurred to me that this might be a panic attack. I mean, I’m not exactly a low-key kind of gal, so I called a friend of mine that suffered several panic after a very scary medical diagnosis and luckily, she answered the phone. She agreed that I was probably having one and talked to me until I was able to calm down.
The whole thing was done in about ten minutes, but I’m pretty upset since I felt like I was doing a pretty good job at relaxing through this pregnancy. I mean, I’ve felt about a normal amount of crazy, but I’m not nearly as stressed as I was with Charlie. I guess I need to work on relaxing and taking it easy a little more. Easier said than done I suspect.