Don’t Panic

I’ve been busy. Not with one particular thing, but many, many small things.

There’s a pile of things I could do with Charlie–I feel like the suggestions are coming fast and furious and while I want to chase down every lead, I don’t have the energy that I used to.

We’ve got big changes to make in our house–we’re turning a barely-used nursery into an office/guest room and a guest room in a “boy’s room”

We have things to buy–a van, a stroller for three, another car seat, carpet that’s less than 20 years old, and miscellaneous items to prepare for the arrival of not one, but two newborns.

I’ve been working a little–helping local businesses get their Facebook pages up and running, explaining how Twitter works, and basically getting paid to teach people about all this stuff that I love–that’s pretty cool. I do tend to stress myself out over really basic stuff, though. Stuff like charging people money or being assertive about what I know.

And while no one thing is very overwhelming, I guess the totality of things must be getting to me because the other day as I was driving home, I had a panic attack.

Kid in high chair making a crazy face

Charlie's Maniacal Smile

I’ve never had one before, so at first I had no idea what was going on. I was just driving along, thinking about my to-do list, and then BAM! I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I had an overwhelming urge to escape–although I don’t know what I wanted to escape exactly. I called my husband who muttered something incredibly helpful like, “whaaaaa?” and hung up when I realized he’d be approximately zero help.

I continued to drive (there was no where to pull over)  and finally it occurred to me that this might be a panic attack. I mean, I’m not exactly a low-key kind of gal, so I called a friend of mine that suffered several panic after a very scary medical diagnosis and luckily, she answered the phone. She agreed that I was probably having one and talked to me until I was able to calm down.

The whole thing was done in about ten minutes, but I’m pretty upset since I felt like I was doing a pretty good job at relaxing through this pregnancy. I mean, I’ve felt about a normal amount of crazy, but I’m not nearly as stressed as I was with Charlie.  I guess I need to work on relaxing and taking it easy a little more. Easier said than done I suspect.

Woman with pregnant belly smiling at camera

Totally in my PJs and half asleep here

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  1. Glad you are still smiling. Take it day by day.. you have a lot on our plate but I would argue that your most important job is taking care of yourself and your babies. Things will fall into place and don’t all have to be done in one day. You look great, take a much needed break.

    • Yes! Most important job. I think I’m doing OK with the babies–plenty of rest and water–it’s everything else that seems to be taking a hit and then I get stressed!

  2. Kristen says:

    Katy, I adore the way you write. You’re honest with yourself and others. You’re real. But you don’t stop there. You always deliver yourself to a place where resolve can be found. These are all things I admire so greatly in someone. They are traits that I strive for but often fall so short of achieving. Just wanted to let you know that you inspire me to think well and write better.

    I hope you get some rest, both in mind and body.

    • Thank you so much Kristen. I have often found that the act of writing it all down is what helps the impossible seem more possible.

  3. Seriously, what is it about husbands. I flip out about something that I feel totally overwhelmed by in life. I call him because he is the only one I really want to talk to and he says somthing really helpful like “Well, uh, uh, don’t worry Kris, it will be OK”

    Then I”m left to wonder why I called him in the first place.

    Glad to hear I’m not alone.

    • I have a darling husband who does so much for our family, but he doesn’t handle sudden upset–he’s very fond of his routine. I think half the time he’s trying to figure out why he’s on the phone and not working on a drawing.

  4. Glad that you were able to talk with a friend and she was able to help. Hope you are able to strike a balance with all that is on your plate and the rest that you need as those babies continue to grow. You look great, by the way. And Charlie’s smile in that picture is absolutely priceless!

    • Thank you Dawn–I will be working on the balance thing.

      That smile of Charlie’s is one of those wonder, silly expressions he makes that’s so hard to catch on camera.

  5. Hahahahahahaha…… he looks like he’s playing air guitar! hahahahahahahaha!!!

  6. Can you try some prenatal yoga? No more panic attacks Missy! You’re lookin’ great! xoxo

    • Hmmmm. . . I have a prenatal yoga DVD somewhere. I wonder if that would help. I have trouble sitting still for that long, though–unless I’m taking a nap.

  7. I’m so sorry that happened. I know exactly how a panic attack feels, and it is no fun. I’ve had them most of my life. The best advice I can give is to try and hold on to your logical mind. Remember it will pass. Your body is on overload and releasing too much adrenaline, so it feels like your heart is racing and you want to scream. But this is your body freaking out, not your head. You are fine, not crazy, and in a short time the panic will pass. Take care of you the best you can and if it happens again just remind yourself you’re going to be okay.

    • Yes, well, I think it’s a good thing I was able to figure out what it was. That will definitely help if it happens again–although I hope it never does!

  8. I hear you on feeling the pressure of stuff that needs to get done! I have a rental to get ready, a house to have built and a wedding to plan for. Lucky for me I don’t have three little humans to think about, too! I hate it when people tell me it’ll all be fine because yes, it will be fine, when *I* put in all the work it takes for things to be “fine”. BUT, you’ll find the time to get it all done, relax and take care of yourself and those babies as well as spend time working with Charlie.

    • Sarah–you put that just right. It will all be fine–once all that work gets taken care of! You have a ton on your plate as well, but it is such a fun time! Love hearing all the wedding/house details.

  9. Aw! Welcome to the club! Your tshirt and jacket will be arriving soon. Seriously though, I’m sorry you had a panic attack. Those can be so scary. My husband is not a huge help but at least my mommy understands. I’m glad you had someone to call. Now, go, drink some water and lay on your left side, and just breathe.

    • I’ll be looking for that t-shirt. I think the hardest part for me was that I just didn’t understand all these intense emotions coming out of nowhere. Freaky. In the future I’ll do the call thing again–that really seemed to do the trick.

  10. I can’t imagine why you’d be stressed out (huge amount of sarcasm here)…. I had two events during my first pregnancy that, looking back, must have been panic attacks. I haven’t had anything like that since, so here’s to hoping that yours doesn’t repeat (or at least not often). The picture of Charlie is cute, and it’s cool you’re doing the pregnancy pics — I never did but wish I had!

    • I really hope that was my first and last one! I do think that pregnancy can cause you to feel things more intensely. When I was pregnant with Charlie, I cried constantly. I guess it’s all those dang hormones.

      I was pretty haphazard with the Charlie pics, but I suspect that with the twins it might get kind of crazy, so I’m trying to document it.

  11. Just clicked over for the first time from the Blogher ads. I’ve never had a panic attack. Seems scary though. Hope it doesn’t happen again. Nice blog, by the way. I shall be back! Congrats on the babies too!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Cathy! What a crazy day to join me. I am hoping for no more panic attacks as well.

  12. Your belly is so cute! We need to schedule your maternity session before it gets too hot!

  13. You look amazing!

  14. First, you look adorable!
    Second, I was trying to figure out how I could help local businesses get up and running on Facebook! We’re like twins seperated at birth, Katy! :) My biggest question to myself was “how do you charge for that?”!!!!!

    Finally – sorry about your scary panic attack. Let’s hope (and pray) that you don’t have to experience that again!

    Love Charlie’s “crazy” smile!

    • Yes, Amy, I am hoping and praying that I am done with the panic attacks–definitely not my favorite thing on any level.

  15. Hugs to you, honey. I’d say twins give you an excuse for double the fun and double the panic. But we, your faithful readers, have every confidence in you. We know you can do it.