There are things you do not talk about in polite company. Things that you avoid. There are rules for many things. For example, when I got engaged, I was supposed to tell my entire sorority at the same time through a very girly candle-passing ceremony. I had to keep my lips zipped for almost a month until we all got back to school. It was tough to do, but I knew that was the way it was “supposed” to be done.
This is a most-roundabout way of saying that I’m pregnant.
It’s too early to be talking about it. I hit ten weeks today, which is so very early, but then I got some more news and now I have to talk about it. This blog is my place where I talk about things and I can’t imagine not doing that because of social custom.
So here’s the deal: three days after Christmas I went to see my doctor and he was going to do an ultrasound so that he could pin down a specific due date. I’m notoriously bad at keeping track of my womanly cycle, so I was left with very accurate method of guessing when things might have occurred. Because of Charlie’s medical history, my new doc wanted no guessing–he wanted specifics.
I was really excited about this pregnancy. I vowed that I would do less worrying and more living in the moment. I worried all through Charlie’s pregnancy, and that didn’t help me one bit. I was letting myself imagine the best–a smiling baby, maybe a toddler who liked books, first steps, no ICU. I headed to the doctor happy to see if things were plugging along normally–wanting to see a heartbeat.
The doctor took a tad to0 long with the scan. I could see him flicking it around a bit and was immediately nervous. Could he find the heartbeat?
Actually, the holdup was that he found two. Yes, two heartbeats. As in twins.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that there could be two babies in there. Never. It was the furthest thing from my mind, which is probably why I had to ask the doctor about three times if he was kidding.I still can’t believe it.
Twins changes things. It’s still a little early to know if I will have two babies, but the chances improve by the day and I’d be stupid to not at least consider what a future with two babies would be like. For starters, that means at least a year of three children who can’t walk. A stroller for three? Well, thankfully, it appears that they make those. Now I just have to recover from the price tag. I’m going to need a bigger car too–three car seats ain’t fittin in the Taurus.
And then there’s the worry stuff. Bed rest is a real possibility and how can I go on bed rest when I have Charlie? What happens when the doctor tells me to stop picking up my heavy three-year-old? And what about complications? You can’t live in Special Needs Land without being aware of all the potential complications of two. I’m fine with Charlie and love him disabilities and all, but how on earth would I deal with more than one disabled child? More specifically, how will my back manage it!
OK, I’m getting ahead of myself. I know. I’ve always come here to let it all hang out and this is no different. I hope this is a great adventure that ends with me totally exhausted, but with two healthy babies. I don’t have a crystal ball, so I’m doing my best to enjoy the moment and not worry too much about what the future holds. There’s no predicting what’s up ahead. I thought I had already learned that lesson, but I just got one helluva reminder!
Guys, I was trying to respond to each and every comment on this post because they really do mean so much to me, but my blog has now marked me as spam. If I haven’t responded to you, I will try to get to them all in the coming days–apparently too many comments at once is a bad thing!