My life is pretty ironic. Usually I find it amusing, but today it took a bit of a hurtful tone.
You see, a recent post I wrote about our issues with transportation wasn’t exactly well-received. As far as I can tell, it’s been passed around and shared with a number of the faculty at Charlie’s school and even resulted in a phone call from the principal. Yes, you read that right, I was called to the principal’s office because of my blog.
The meeting with the principal was fine. It was good, really. She was kind and understanding and the situation with Charlie was worked out within minutes.
Really, it was simple.
What isn’t simple is how to handle getting “called out.” I try really hard to keep this blog about me and my family. I learned the hard way that not everyone wants to have their life dissected on the Internet. It’s a choice that I’ve made and I try my hardest to honor the other people in my life by using pseudonyms and vague references to respect their privacy. I do my best, but sometimes my life and my feelings are going to overlap with someone else’s.
So today I received a comment from someone who declined to give their real name or e-mail address. Someone who felt the need to explain to me how I was the problem. How I needed to be satisfied with the situation and how I couldn’t expect special treatment because “what they do for one, they’ll have to do for all.”
There was a point in my blogging career where a comment like that would have flattened me–would have left me crying for days. But those were the days before Charlie. Charlie has changed me. I have stood up to doctors suggesting we pull the plug early and let him go. I have ignored those who couldn’t see his potential. I’ve dismissed residents who were too busy to read the chart.
I stand behind my words. It sucks to have to fight for things. It sucks when things don’t go smoothly and you waste time in meetings trying to figure out the right way to get things done. It sucks when your options are limited and none of the choices are ideal. And if I didn’t acknowledge these facts than this blog wouldn’t be worth visiting. I should just close up shop and learn how to knit or something because my writing wouldn’t ring true if I ignored the struggles that come with parenting a special needs child.
So, I’ve ruffled my community. I’m OK with that. It comes with the territory. You put your writing on the Internet and some people are going to see things that aren’t there. Some people are going to hate you for speaking your truth. Sadly, a blog post that isn’t read by that many people helped me get what I needed for Charlie. We’ll be re-writing his IEP to remove thirty minutes each day and I’ll be able to pick him up at that time and leave. Like I said, simple. While I was busy figuring out the best way to approach the situation, other people were busy judging my process and rushing to conclusions. That saddens me. That upsets me.
But I’m going to keep on keepin’ on. I think this blog has value. I love the people who comment here regularly and contribute their wisdom and experience. I am grateful to all of you. It’s hard to be criticized, but I will keep writing what I feel and what we experience because I believe that somebody else will benefit from it one day (call me delusional). Nobody said blogging was easy, but for me, my position is clear–I fight for my child, I share our experiences. If that makes some people unhappy, I’ll have to learn to live with that.
**I want to be clear here, so let me say that I do NOT think the commenter works at Charlie’s school. Rather, I get the impression that they have heard about this story through local gossip. Mostly because they know some details, but not all.**