Conversations with an Engineer

My husband is a good man. Really. He’s a fabulous husband and father and if you got me really drunk I’d probably say the same thing only louder and possibly while slapping you on the shoulder.

So I like him, but we’re definitely a case of opposites attracting. He’s calm and stoic and I’m excitable and prone to emotional breakdowns over things like moving and purina dog chow commercials.

I’m artsy. He’s an engineer. You know the type–very serious and all about the details. Nothing makes him crazier than when I substitute the word “whatever” for an actual noun.

This is all just preamble for the story I’m trying to tell you, which is all about our vacuum cleaner. Hubby and I got married a little over eight years ago and we have owned three vacuum cleaners in that time. I don’t know what we do to them, but we are basically the Ted Bundy of small household appliances. They actually have little Wanted posters of us up at Target.

After much discussion we decided that we should purchase a “good” vacuum cleaner–something of substance. We do have two animals, so we thought that your run-of-the-mill vacuum cleaner just wasn’t able to stand up to our impressive dirt-making. My MIL has a Rainbow and we love it, so we thought we’d get one of those. Only problem was the $1600 price tag. We’re a one income family with the world’s most expensive kid, so we try to pinch our pennies when we can. My husband paid less than five grand for his last car, so $1600 seemed like a lot for something that doesn’t move by itself or cook you breakfast.

The other day on Craig’s List I found an advertisement for a Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner $250–it was missing “only one part.” Knowing that even used a Rainbow can cost $600, I did a little research. My research told me that the missing part was actually the piece of the vacuum cleaner that you use to suck dirt off the carpet–a fairly important element in the vacuum department if you ask me.

So there I am, de-briefing Hubby on the Rainbow quest:

Me: Well, I found a lady selling a Rainbow on Craig’s List for only $250, but it’s missing a piece. When I research the piece, turns out, it could cost as much as $250 dollars itself. It’s the part of the vacuum that cleans the floor and it has its own little engine in it, which I guess is why it’s so expensive.

Husband: Well, duh, it has it’s own engine.

Me: This is me we’re talking to, I don’t know about this kind of stuff.

Husband: Just think. You’re not going to be able to get that kind of torque through a tube. Of course it has its own engine.

Me: Oh. Yeah. Of course. (Torque?!?!)

It’s a good thing he’s cute.

dad

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