Insert Post Here

So. . . . I guess maybe putting a post right here would be a good idea. Right now, though, as I stare at this white space, I wonder what it is I talk about here. Anyone remember?

There has been so much going on around here that I am literally unable to construct any meaningful thought. I have dreams a night about failed relationships that are interrupted by Jack Bauer and if we don’t get out of there soon we’ll miss PT.

You get the picture.

Tomorrow will be me and Hubby’s eight year wedding anniversary. We dated for three and a half years before that, so we’ve been a team for what feels like a good long while now. Not forever or anything, but we’re definitely past the “he’s so dreamy” phase.

There’s been a lot of divorce around us lately and it really got me wondering about what it takes to go the distance. I mean, Lord knows it isn’t always perfect around here. Also, you always hear about how couples with special needs children are even more likely to split and that just makes you even jumpier.

I’ve come to only one conclusion on this topic and you can ignore me if you like because we all know that eight years does not a marriage expert make.

In my opinion, the couples who make it work are the ones where both parties are just really committed to the idea of marriage. You have to work on it. You have to talk about it. You have to stay up late some nights hashing out ways to make it work when it feels broken. You have to be committed to the idea of forever. And you have to do these things over and over again.

Hubby and I have our rough patches, but in the end we want to be with each other. I don’t think long-lasting marriages are about perfect partners, but rather about dedicated ones. It’s not like we’re flawless beings, but instead just two people who accept the other and are glad to have them in our lives.

Besides, if it didn’t work out I’d have to try dating again and that, my friends, is a deal breaker.

Pictures of Hubby sealing up a piece of architectural salvage I want to hang in our house.
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Comments

  1. For only having been married 8 years, you are one wise woman.

    Keep up the good work!

    Tammy and Parker
    http://www.prayingforparker.com

  2. Very wise words, indeed… =)
    Happy Anniversary!!!

  3. I agree with you – I hope I'll be able to do whatever it takes to never have to date again. Ever!

  4. congrats on the anniversary – i think you are spot on about what it takes

  5. therextras says:

    You got that right, Katy.

    For those who find 'dedication' a struggle, God helps those who ask Him.

    You can write about anything you want here, it's your blog. 😉

    Congrats to you and your hubby!

    Not an expert either, but experienced, Barbara

  6. MelissaInk says:

    Happy Anniversary!

  7. Good thoughts, Katy. You know my grandmother always said the big thing was spending time together and doing things together. She and my grandfather loved to just hop in the car and take off for a day of driving to new places or new restaraunts. Carl and I still carry on this tradition and it is so much fun. We have found that spending time together, for us, is a big help, and that means getting away from everyone else. Happy Anniversary, guys!

  8. Josephine says:

    I agree. You have to be absolutely committed to the idea of being together forever. Rough patches come to the best of couples, but if you are serious about staying together then you can make it through the rough patches even more dedicated to each other than you were before.
    Happy anniversary!

  9. YES. I agree whole-heartedly, and you're last part about dating? HILARIOUS. And true.

    Sometimes you just have to get through it. Sometimes marriage actually sucks. But if you hang in there, time and time again, if you keep TRYING. If you keep making memories, then years… and decades… down the road you find you've built a family. A totally imperfect, full-of-baggage, but real, true family. There's only one way to get there. And that's by going the distance.

  10. Small Town Girl says:

    Yeah, you DEFINITELY don't want to date.

    And happy anniversary!! :)

  11. happy anniversary! I understand, life is really hard on Mike and I. He freaks out A LOT being at home with Jude, so it all makes me wonder too. I like your words of wisdom and I agree

  12. Nadine Hightower says:

    Congrats to you! And may you share many more years together.

    and he's still dreamy.

  13. Right on! Sounds good to me–considering there are days when I'm ready–no, really, ready–to kill my husband. And on that note, Happy Anniversary!

  14. We just celebrated our 7th anniversary last week and I'm so grateful to be married to a man who loves me unconditionally and forgives so readily.

    My husband has a family member who is marriage therapist of sorts–he has a weekly radio program and travels around doing marriage seminars–anyway, he was telling us that according to studies, for each child a couple has marital satisfaction decreases by 20%. Family satisfaction increases, however, by 20% with each additional child. For many couples it's that family satisfaction that holds them together over the years.

    I'm going on child #4 which, assuming I started out with !00% marital satisfaction, brings me down to only about 20% satisfaction with my marriage. Ahhh, better stop childbearing now! JK

    I feel I have a very good marriage but I think the point of the whole thing is the relationship between husband and wife needs constant nurturing, especially when children are involved. The most important relationship for a child is the relationship his or her parents have with their spouse. Yet, it is usually the marital relationship that takes a back seat to the children. A parent cannot fall out of love with its offspring but husbands and wives fall out of love all the time. It's sadly ironic. The best thing we can do for our children is cultivate a healthy relationship with our spouses.

    Anyway, enough of the rambling. After spewing all that marital flim-flam I feel a great need to call a babysitter for Friday night.

    Happy Anniversary!

  15. Heather–I feel like having a child brings down the satisfaction for a while–that intense period where you're all about the kid–but it can come back up again. Like I said, though, I'm no expert.

  16. Sounds to me like you got a good handle on it! Happy anniversary!

  17. I had a LONG day today. Just me and the kids. It made me love my husband even more and makes me think single parenthood is ENTIRELY NOT FOR ME. So, I'm all for working it out for the sake of the parent's sanity and the kid's happiness. Like I've told my friends, spending money on a babysitter at least 1x/month is still a heck of a lot cheaper than a divorce lawyer. A good date night each month goes a long way to marital satisfaction!

    Happy Anniversary!

  18. my husband and I have been together 12 years, actually married for 10, and we joke that we have a "common enemy": everything out there that gets in the way of what our daughter needs. It hasn't been easy and I admit to times when I considered leaving, but we both hung on for our child, and then for each other. Now we are closer than ever, despite more stress. I think you're right. Marriage requires commitment and stubbornness. You have to want it.