Archives for May 2009

Utterly and Completely Disgusting

My dinner table this morning–note card ideas, works in progress, and the oh-so important diet coke.

Sometime Friday night one of our resident geniuses must have purposely swerved in order to kill an armadillo. I don’t know why they did it because they left the dead armadillo in our driveway. They also destroyed our mailbox and the neighbor’s mailbox and left their side-view mirror in our front yard.

Which leaves us with the distasteful job of disposing of said armadillo.

Neither my husband or I have any experience in this area, so my husband scooped it up into several heavy-duty trash bags and put it in our outside garbage can. This morning, however, we realized that it had begun to smell and trash isn’t picked up until Friday.

I suggested taking it over to one of the local restaurants and throwing it away in their trash, but my husband was worried that a man clandestinely throwing something in a dumpster would draw suspicion.
My husband considered burying it in the backyard, but that seems like a lot of work for an animal that wasn’t a family pet.
So we called upon my husband’s super-country cousins. My family wouldn’t have been worthless on this one–they don’t change their own oil or wash their own toilets–I assume their roadkill experience is limited. My husband, on the other hand, has relatives who would have turned the armadillo into dinner.
The cousins were the right choice and they shared their full-proof method for getting rid of the stink:
  1. Rub Vick’s Vapor Rub under your nose.
  2. Put a lemon wedge in your mouth.
  3. Open up the garbage bag of death and squeeze MANY limes over the deceased.

That about sums it up. Hubs asked if I wanted to help, but I declined because, well, that’s disgusting.

Fun Fact Friday

Awhile back, semi-desperate housewife posted about her “F-it List” (rhymes with Bucket List). Basically, it’s a list of the things you have no interest in doing before you die. For Fun Fact Friday I’m listing some of mine:

  1. Run a marathon. I don’t want to do this and I don’t understand why other people want to either. I ran track in high school and I don’t think I ever got that rush that people are always talking about. I’ve tried running and I DON’T GET IT. You’re tired, you’re sweaty, and that’s it!
  2. Have a lovely garden. I’ve tried gardening and I don’t like it–the bugs, the worms, the dirt under my fingernails. Ugh!
  3. Do any type of drug. Drugs have always seemed completely un-glamorous to me and I find any type of paraphernalia just tacky. Bongs and baggies? No thank-you!
  4. Sky dive. Airplanes scare me enough, thankyouverymuch!
  5. Fly an airplane. See above.

So. . . that’s it. Enjoy your weekend!

Boo-Yah!

This piece is part of series I did awhile back called “Louisiana Phoenix.” It pretty much sums up how I’m feeling today–like I could conquer anything if I wanted.

Well, today we finished up the doctor’s appointments for this week with a trip to the opthamologist. It was a super-fabulous appointment.

The doctor seemed almost flabbergasted at how well Charlie was doing. At five months, Charlie had a fairly obvious field defect–he couldn’t see things on his right side. Now, the doctor was unable to detect field loss with toys or moving objects. This doesn’t mean that Charlie can see perfectly on that side, but he can definitely see some.

When he first saw Charlie, Charlie also had what is called exotropia–the common term for it is wall-eye. Now, when Charlie focuses, this goes away. The doctor was thrilled by this. He said that this is a good sign and that Charlie may continue to improve.

He spent a long time going over the chart and seemed just thrilled by Charlie’s progress. After looking everything over he said that in his opinion, Charlie had so many other things going on in his early life that he just couldn’t focus on developing normal vision. He thinks that Charlie is developing his vision–just at a slower pace than everyone else.

He also said, “whatever you’re doing–keep doing it.”

So, you know, boo-yah! Charlie is kicking arse and taking names.

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