Spa Day

You know, Americans these days seem to be a little obsessed with cleansing. We pay people to scrub our faces and our bodies and even our auras.

So it’s no real surprise that my colonoscopy was the equivalent of a spa day for me.

I did have to survive the torture of preparing for it, though, so I deserved a little break.

To prepare to get a colonoscopy you have clean out your entire digestive tract. The day before you can have hard candy and clear liquids. Gobstoppers and diet coke do not equal a breakfast of champions. Then you have to take laxatives. Then you take a super-laxative drink that’s pretty freakin’ disgusting. My version was called MoviPrep and I drank exactly half as much as I was supposed to and it took be four times longer than it should. It was totally disgusting and about half the time I thought I was going to just throw it up.

The colonoscopy itself wasn’t bad, though. The nurse did a bang-up job putting in my IV and it wasn’t painful at all. They covered me in a pre-warmed blanket and I got to lie down and nap both before and after. My mom drove me home and I slept the rest of the morning. For a woman with a small child with special needs, an excuse to sleep all morning is pretty much the best thing that can happen to you.

As for my results. . . don’t read on if you’re squeamish. . . hemorrhoids that are too high up to be seen during a regular exam. That’s pretty much the best possible diagnosis given my symptoms.

So, to review, Moviprep BAD, colonoscopy GOOD.

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  1. Oh wow, is there anything that they can give you to help you with this to relieve your symptoms?

  2. Nadine Hightower says:

    Hey! We find joy where ever we can and however we can get it.

    Hugs and rest up!

  3. Glad to hear things went relatively well.

    Also, thank you for posting the details. I felt a little bad posting the other day that sometimes our dog gets to Fletcher’s vomit before I can clean it up. Thought it may be too gross to post. But now, I feel much better. Ha!

  4. Well, I hope they can solve that problem! Hemorrhoids = not fun at all.

  5. Somehow, you managed to make a colonoscopy funny. I am glad you figured out what was going on. What’s the cause of hemerrhoids, BTW? After Max was born, I looked forward to dentist visits, because it was a chance to lie down. :}

  6. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for posting the nitty gritty details. Need one of these “spa” treatments myself sometime soon …. at least I know what to expect.

  7. Small Town Girl says:

    Can I just say YAY for hemorroids?? I’m so happy that’s all it is and not something MUCH scarier.

    P.S. Mom always loved those warm blankets. :)

  8. Gina (Mannyed) says:

    I just don’t understand why they haven’t found a much better way to clear out ones digetive track. Ugh. Something more user friendly.

  9. Sounds like a blast 😉 At least it’s over!

  10. Becca-yes, I have a handy-dandy prescription for flare-ups.

    Sarah–I’m with you. the list of possibilities was scary and hemmroids was fine by me.

  11. Most people DO throw that stuff up!

  12. blairspage says:

    I’m so glad everything came out okay with your exam!

    And, you should see my toenails. I can’t wait to go use my gift certificate my Sister got me for a pedicure. I can’t remember the last time I went to get one.

    Hugs – Tiff

  13. Aw, you poor thing. But hey–silver lining there with the excuse to sleep all day. I puked 3 times the other day and Caleb came home–the nap was so worth being sick.

  14. Anonymous says:

    the name of this post is slightly deceiving. I do like the fact that you can post about a colonoscopy and receive no backlash.

  15. oldfarmboy says:

    I had one this week too. I hate that clensing stuff. I used the same thing, and just the thought of the taste about makes me barf.

    No hemroids here, but had some polyp’s removed. I told the doctor he had seen a side of me nobody else has. :) Kent

  16. Glad things turned out okay. Hope they were able to fix it?

    I REALLY need to get this done. For reasons I cannot BEAR to think too much about, but I’ve put it off for a YEAR after being told to do it. Yikes. VERY VERY BAD judgement. Embarrassing, actually. Embarrassing that I’ve been so negligent.

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