Honesty

If I’m being completely honest then I think I would say that I’m missing my grandfather. There’s a big part of me that just hasn’t accepted that he isn’t here anymore. Yesterday I went with my mom to his apartment and we both just started crying. It was as if, up until that moment, we could believe that he was still there. . . sitting at his desk. . . doing a crossword puzzle.

We were cleaning the place out and I found this picture of Charlie that my mom had sent him on e-mail. He’d printed out and put it in a frame.

Makes me wistful. . .

We can’t live forever, and he lived a good, full life. I’m not sad for him. . . I’m sad for me.

He’s gone and there is a hole where he belongs.

That’s just how it is sometimes.

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Comments

  1. Gina (Mannyed) says:

    “I’m sad for me” is exactly how I feel about my grandmother. Sometimes the sadness hits me out of the blue.

  2. Small Town Girl says:

    I remember once a month or so after my dad died, I was sitting in class and thought, “I haven’t talked to Dad for awhile, I should call him.” Then I realized that I couldn’t call him. I hate realizations like that. They suck.

  3. Nadine Hightower says:

    You will always miss him. I’m not gonna fib to you. The pain just subsides.
    Hang in there.
    Hugs

  4. Well put–“I’m not sad for him, I’m sad for me.” I miss my grandpa too, and he died 6 years ago. I don’t think it ever goes away.