Stupid Stress

My MIL is one of those all-natural, energy-healer type of people She’s a reiki master, but she’s also into nutrition, and whatever else. Basically, she’s one of those people who doesn’t use toothpaste, doesn’t use deodorant, won’t touch sun screen, and spends all her discretionary income on vitamins.

I don’t have a big problem with this stuff. My opinion on these things has always been to approach them with an open mind. I let her start giving Charlie a supplement and we saw some real improvement after that. I let her energy friends clense his chakras and whatnot. I’ll play her subliminal healing tapes while Charlie naps.

Generally, these things are just complementary and I can see no real reason not to do them. I always carefully read all the negative literature on an alternative treatment to cover my bases.

Well, things have taken a turn and it’s stressing me out.

My MIL had a friend over one day last week while she was babysitting. They discussed Charlie’s issues and things spiraled from there.

The friend suggested that perhaps Charlie’s physical ailments are the result of his medications or something else in his enviroment. They googled phenobarb and read the side-effects and within a number of minutes it was the boogy man.

The friend, who I don’t know, but am suddenly not fond of, put my MIL onto this doctor in Baton Rouge. Her name is Dr. Stephanie Cave and she wrote a book a while back that talked about the possible link between autism and vaccines. She’s a rock-star in the autism world and it takes about nine months to get seen by her. She treats all kind of ailments and her claim to fame is identifying enviromental factors that may not be in sync wiht your child’s body. My MIL asked if I would be willing to take Charlie to see Dr. Cave if she paid for the visit. I figured, why not? Nine months is a long time and by then my MIL would have probably found something else to be excited about.

So, while I was on vacation my MIL called to schedule an appointment. She carefully read the medical history that I had typed out in case of emergencies, and completely bowled over the phone operator. Long story short, we’ll be seeing Dr. Cave on Wednesday.

I don’t know why, but this is causing me extreme stress. I can’t figure it out, but I have literally been having scary dreams about this visit. I know I don’t have to do anything she asks and I know that it’s just ONE visit and I never have to go back. Maybe I’m worried that she’s going to ask me to do more than I’m willing. Maybe I’m worried she’s going to suggest a lot of alternative stuff that will make Charlie’s regular doctors nuts. I don’t know why I’m having such a freak-out here.

Sigh.

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Comments

  1. I know why! Because you’re NORMAL!!! :o) Honestly, if it doesn’t feel right to do this right now, then it doesn’t feel right! Listen to your instincts! From what I’ve been reading on your blog, Charlie is doing absolutely wonderful, so what, really, is the point of this new doctor? I KNOW that there are a lot of answers to that, but this is what I was thinking of when I wrote that statement…today I was talking with a woman who’s son is 13 and is autistic. I said, “Was he born with it?” She looked at me kind of funny and said, “All children that have it are more than likely BORN with it, but it’s just that it shows up at different stages in children’s lives.” I mentioned the whole theory of vaccines being a possible cause and she said that it could be but that, really, there are so MANY theories out there as it is. She even mentioned that she read that they’ve done testing where they can see evidence of autism in the WOMB, therefore, existing before that child even enters this world and is affected by modern medicine. Who knows…I’m getting off track. What she went on to say, and what I hope will help you, is this…she said, “I don’t really focus too much on the many theories out there. I don’t NEED TO know an answer as to, “Why?” After all,” she said, “it’s not going to change his situation. All I can do now,” she said, “is help him to learn things and to develop and to function in this world.” Obviously, she hopes for a cure or an aid or something to help with autism, but until that happens, she has to do what she can.

    It seems that what you’re doing RIGHT NOW with Charlie and his doctor’s is working VERY well. Until you feel the need to, why switch things up? It’s also VERY scary to go to new doctors sometimes. I know this. I’ve been there. And one thing that I’ve learned is that when you’re ready to do it, the chips just fall into place.

    Hang in there! Good luck with your decision! Oh, and one short story…the 13-year-old autistic boy that I was talking about above…well, I had the PRIVILEGE of being there today when successfully tied his shoe for the first time by himself! His mom said that they’d been working on that for a LONG time and this boy was SO excited! :) Of course, he kept saying, “Again, mom?!” because he wanted to show us over and over. :) He kept saying, “I’m going to practice this, mom, until it’s perfect.” :) What a beautiful moment that I got to share in!!

  2. I’m sorry that you are in this situation… it does sound stressful. It seems you have been more than willing to look at alternatives with an open mind and so if this is stressing you out maybe its best to follow your gut instincts.

    However, it would be interesting to see what this doctor says. Keep us posted.

  3. shoeaddict says:

    I agree that if you are nervous and scared, you should trust those instincts.

    I just looked through your pictures. You have some great ones. I love your porch! Also, Charlie- he’s soooooo great!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    I think that perhaps one of the reasons this has become such a stressful thing for you is because you weren’t in the drivers seat for this one. Essentially someone else stepped up and started making potentially life altering changes for Charlie and inside, way down deep, you might be freaked over this. I would be.

    If your MIL is paying for the visit I’d say go… and listen with an open, cautious mind. It’s only a few more days before The Big Event. But I would say, if your MIL is going along, that you totally be in control of the visit. That might reset the balance of the world.

    All this aside, I hope that the doctor’s visit goes well for Charlie. I’m sure he’s gonna charm this lady doc into next week. :)

  5. desperate housewife says:

    I think it’s perfectly natural you feel stressed about this- you want it to go well and to get good imput from her to make your MIL happy, you want to learn something new and helpful for Charlie’s sake, but you obviously fear adding yet another opinion and precribed treatment to his already overwhelming list of doctors and therapies and what not, and you especially don’t want what she says to be in direct conflict with what his other doctors advise because then you’ll have to make choices… Sounds like a stresser to me!
    I do think it sounds like it’s worth checking out though, for sure. I really hope everything goes well for you guys and that you get some good, solid answers and nothing confusing or frustrating comes of it!

  6. I think you should just take a deep breath, go, and keep an open mind. Listen to what the doctor says, but remember: you don’t have to listen to her just because she’s a hotshot doctor.

  7. Nadine Hightower says:

    I agree with Jenn! In fact she said exactly what I wanted to say.

    Deep Breath!
    Grain of Salt!

    Hugs!

  8. Ooo…this entry left me with a stomach ache. I could just imagine how I would feel. New situation, sprung on you at a time when you were probably ready to get back to normal after vacation…add on the feeling of having no control, and I’d be dreading that appointment, too. Sounds like everyone else has the right idea; couldn’t hurt to see this woman but you certainly don’t have to listen to her or even go in the first place if you’re uncomfortable. Trust your instincts. Charlie has come so far and is doing so well. I’m sure he’ll continue with that as long as he is in your very capable hands.

  9. therextras says:

    Lots of wisdom already here.

    “this is causing me extreme stress.”

    I think the slant on your relationship with your MIL contributes to the stress factor – relatives can exert a lot of influence on parenting. What does Charlie’s Dad think? This reminds me of the age-old choice given young men in love – who would you save from drowning – your fiance or your mother? Meaning, if you are doing this primarily to preserve an important family relationship BUT you fear for the effects on Charlie – that’s a pretty good conflict, for stress. “Master”, eh?

    This might interest you: a lively discussion about untested treatments on The Voyage.

    http://thefamilyvoyage.blogspot.com/2008/07/ait-for-autism-in-dt.html

  10. I’d go…just listen to what she has to say..you don’t HAVE to do anything more…

  11. Ya I say listen to your instincts, I’m sure your MIL only means well but you have to do what feels right for YOU. It sounds to me like Charlie is doing very well with what you’re doing now.

    Glad you’re back from vaca!!

  12. Haz Bien says:

    In response to your comment … that is too cool! I’m trying to remember if I knew that or not… But how interesting!