Confessional

When I was young–I’m not sure how old, maybe six–I stole something. To be specific, I stole a glitter bracelet from my friend. I was at her house, I wanted it, and so I stuck in in my pants (classy, no?) and brought it home. The only problem is that I was racked with guilt. I wasn’t ever able to wear the beautiful glitter bracelet because I felt bad for stealing it.

For me, that one incident was enough. I’ve not stolen anything since. Well, I may have taken a sign off the wall at a Holiday Inn that said “Honeymoon Suite,” but I try to be virtuous.

Anyway, sometimes you see things that you want. For the most part, you either buy them or don’t. Sometimes, however, things aren’t for sale.

Down the street is an unoccupied house. I guess whoever lived there died or moved into a nursing home or something. From time to time I’ll see different people cleaning it out–this will often result in crazy amounts of stuff being put out to the trash. The rest of the time, the house is unoccupied. I can only assume that the heirs are sifting through and cleaning out the place either to rent or sell.

In the garden of this house is a stone Pelican. I WANT this Pelican. Sometime in the last month I’ve sort of adopted the Pelican as my own personal mascot. He’s also the state bird, but that’s something else entirely. I recently got a wooden Pelican from someone else’s trash and I just love it. I think he needs a friend–a stone Pelican, perhaps? This little stone guy calls out to me each day as I drive past.

I’m not going to steal the Pelican–I have that guilt thing, remember? But I do think it’s weird that if I were to suddenly develop a life of crime the first thing I’d go after is a stone bird from a dead woman’s garden.

So, confess, what’s something you’d love to steal? If you were the stealing type. Feel free to stay anonymous on this one–I’m just wondering–what’s your pelican?

PS: My big, eco-friendly, clothing-related project will officially begin Monday. I am both excited and nervous about this one. Stay tuned.

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Comments

  1. Christy says:

    There’s a couple of railroad ties along the coastal trail that Nick and I joked about stealing for the garden bed we hope to build this summer. And some wild rose bushes behind the hockey rink where I play that I’ve considered transplanting in the middle of the night. And…

  2. That is hilarious. I can so see you sneaking into the garden late at night and grabbing the pelican. But then what would you do with it? You couldn’t put it out as the heirs might see it. LOL

    Anyhow, why don’t you wait until they come back for some more cleaning and offer them a couple of bucks for it. They might just want rid of it as muc has you want it.

    I will have to think about what my pelican is and get back to you.

  3. Nadine Hightower says:

    I want road signs that have my hubby’s badge numbers on them. There are several I can’t imagine that anyone would miss one…but no I haven’t done it.

  4. Nadine Hightower says:

    And next time you see someone there at the Pelican house…ask them if they want to sell it. but price one first to see if they give you a deal.

  5. White Hot Magik says:

    I can see the headlines about the great pelican thief.

    I don’t know what my pelican is. I am sure I took some candy or something as a kid from the store. More recently I recall getting out of the store with a sponge that was under my purse and didn’t get paid for. I didn’t go back since I know they have left things on the bag turn style and didn’t give it to me in the past.

  6. Maybe they’ll put it by the side of the road one day…and he’ll be all yours. πŸ˜‰ I can’t think of anything rightt now that I’d like to steal…I’ll have to get back on that one.

  7. If it just HAPPENS to get into the trash can, then it’s fair game. Dumpster diving isn’t just fun, it’s a way of life. Make sure you’re humming the James Bond theme song when you’re stealing… erm… rescuing it, though.

  8. Small Town Girl says:

    You’re too funny. I agree with the others…just ask the cleaner-outers next time they’re there. I don’t think there’s anything that I want bad enough to steal it or think about stealing it at the moment.

    Thanks for the sites–I did some research yesterday in my spare time, but didn’t find either of those sites.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Have you seen this site? People confess their sins online, anonymously! http://iconfessmyself.blogspot.com

  10. Elizabeth says:

    When I was in junior high I was with a “cool girl” (her father was dating my mother) in a Long’s drugstore and we shoplifted some stuff…earrings and colored mascara (think red). We got caught as we walked out of the store. Mortified, I never set foot in a Long’s ever again (never mind the fact that they asked us not to come back).
    The “friendship” didn’t last, either. I was pretty popular for a half a second over that, though.
    I agree with Stacy… offer someone a couple of bucks for it and the Pelican is all yours. Or, conversely, wait until the dead of night, sneak over there Mission Impossible style, thieve the desired object and then display it in your backyard.
    No one will ever know…

  11. Small Town Girl says:

    On the chicken salad thing–I think I’m going to go the lazy way and just order it. My mom can get some pretty good stuff through her work that has celery and stuff like that in it. When I make it for myself I’m boring though and just put mayo and a little seasoning in it.

    My weekends are going to be crazy until June. Then HOPEFULLY I’ll be able to get some rest!

  12. I agree…either offer them some money for it, it watch for it in the trash. I think the Pelican can be yours!

    What’s my pelican? Hmm. Gotta think about that…

    OH, and you are right…the red van background on my page is NEW. You are very observant. πŸ˜‰

  13. Haz Bien says:

    Man, these people down the street from me live in this super contemporary house that I LOVE. You know, the kind you yourself could never live in but looks cool? The husband used to work for this company & on the front lawn of their office were these awesome huge, red, letters sculpted out of metal that spelled out the company name. Anyway, when the sculptures were being made the artist accidentally added an “e” to the name, and they had no idea what to do with it. So now this giant, metal E sculpture is in the family’s house, in their entryway so that it’s visible from the street. I have no idea why I like it so much. But if I had gigantic muscles, I would most definitely jack it.

  14. FreckledFireLily says:

    Lilacs. If I was the stealing type I would would walk around the neighborhood, cutting lilacs off of bushes. I would have fresh bunches of lilacs all over my house. I always say, “Someday I am going to make a midnight requisition!” My yard is the size of a postage stamp and way too small to have my own lilac bushes.