They Shouldn’t Put a Bullseye on the Sign

My husband went out of town for two and a half days–that’s it. In the course of these two days my house became a hurricane of crap. Strewn from here to Havana I’ve got clothes, bottles, dishes, take-out containers, and baby toys. Not to mention the art projects I’ve got going on the floor of the den.

When the house is like this I start to lose my mind a little. All I do is walk into the kitchen and my mood turns foul. I also get a little crazy. I’m all Britney in a pink wig yelling wacky stuff and plotting major home improvement projects.

In one of these fits, I rushed off to Target to buy a storage ottoman. We don’t have a coffee table, and I thought one of those nifty items would provide us with a place to prop up our feet and a black hole to throw baby toys into. Dual purpose! Laziness and, well, sloth. Kind of sad, really.

So, I go to Target, baby in tow, to pick up an ottoman. Only problem is they don’t have the small kind–only the larger version. No biggie, the large one will look nice with the added bonus of holding more crap. It doesn’t fit in the cart, though, and OF COURSE it’s not in a box. I rest it across the top of the cart and push it to the register. I was certain that a Target employee would spot this madness and offer to help me. I was wrong. I passed a lot of Target employees, but none of them actually seemed interested in the plight of a woman who’s pushing an unwieldy ottoman and a baby through Super Target. I’m sure they had bigger things to worry about. Even when I checked out, the girl took no interest–she was polite enough to offer me the chance to save $12.00 by opening a Target charge card today–but ask me if I needed assistance getting my purchases to the car? Not so much.

I’m pushing my cart through the parking lot when it begins to rain.

Then, the ottoman falls off the cart.

When I get it back on the cart, I see that the faux leather now has a scratch. A man tells me that I should bring it back, but the thought of pushing baby and ottoman back across the parking lot, in the rain, into the store sounds pretty freakin’ terrible. I figure I’ll get the thing home and hubby can accompany me on a return trip to exchange it. I load sleeping babe into the car, pop the trunk and lo and behold.

It doesn’t fit.

At this point I gave some serious consideration to just leaving the thing in the parking lot–an eighty-dollar offering to the Gods of stupidity. A nice couple came along at that point, though, and insisted on helping me. They probably did that since I was sort-of crying on top of the ottoman sticking crazily out of my trunk.

Finally, we got the ottoman into the car with half of it in my lap and the old guy basically slamming the door shut into the other half.

My husband says he’ll return it tomorrow. That’s good because I would hate to have to kill someone.

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  1. Elizabeth says:

    What a crappy trip to Target! You’re right… they shouldn’t put a bullseye on the sign. It’s like a welcome mat for the disgruntled. I hope the return goes smoothly.

  2. Man–that is totally something that would happen to me–minus the baby, of course. I feel your pain. I hope it’s all worth it when the HUbs brings back the new one. 😉

  3. Nadine Hightower says:

    Oh I hate that!! buy something and it not fit in the car!!

    And more than anything in the world, I hate to take stuff back!!
    Good luck!!

  4. Haz Bien says:

    Okay, I can’t help but laughing because I could see this exact thing happening to me ….
    Shame on those Target employees! I would throw a nice big complaint in there too on your next trip (that is, after they give you the refund… ha.)

  5. You know what, I would’ve just made my life a tad easier and asked for assitance. While employees should take notice of these things, they don’t. and they won’t. So, next time I would ask them right off the bat for some help. It’s pathetic that one would have to ask an employee to do their job, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

  6. Oh geez, that musta sucked. I’m always afraid of buying something and then it doesn’t fit in my car. The worst part is you couldn’t even just enjoy it when you got it home – is the Hubs gonna exchange it for one that isn’t ripped, or just return it altogether?

    I hate when employees aren’t helpful, you know they saw you, but they just decided to be lazy.

  7. Small Town Girl says:

    I’ve got paranoia about buying large items now. I bought some lawnchairs once that did NOT fit in my car. I had to leave them at customer service and come back with someone who had a bigger vehicle. Talk about embarassing. I also bought a kitchen table/chair set from WalMart once that didn’t fit in my car, either. I had to tie the trunk shut with a shoelace that I happened to have in the car (in a pair of shoes). Yup, I’ve had some bad luck, but at least I didn’t have a baby to worry about, too!

  8. Antonella says:

    UGH! I’m sorry that happened! That kinda stuff happens to me all the time. Sometimes I think people just like to sit back and watch me look pathetic trying to do things by myself when I should really just ask for help!

    As for getting together with other parents of kids with special needs, I know here they have this magazine called NY parent or something and I always see and ad for parents of kids with special needs where you can call to talk to someone or just find people to hang out with who are in similar situations. Maybe you guys have something like that there???

  9. An $80 offering to the Gods of stupidity. That was funny.

  10. Leucantha says:

    That sucks butt. I usually have better than average experiences at Target. I definitely think it is time to tag in hubby.

  11. I always ask now, people just don’t offer any more. I was 8mths preggo and went in to get a bassinet and had to ask them @ Target to help me. Same situation all big and hanging off the cart, no not me the bassinet. I kept on looking for someone to help me. Bleah what a bummer. Have you tried the thing? Will you have him take it back and get another? Is it big enough for all the crap I have in my sun room? (Check my blog, lol, I’m having the same toy problem.)


  12. Little Miss Cranky says:

    Damn it. That just sucks. It had to rain too didn’t it?! Jeesh.

  13. Bless your heart, girl. That is sucky. But you’ve gotta love the helpful strangers in the parking lot.

  14. God forbid you ever actually NEED something or someone at Target–I hate that store, unless I’m running in for a quick and minor purchase. I’m interested to see if they take back the ottoman w/out a problem.