Together We Stand

What She Wore: navy blue running pants; gray t-shirt from my college days; tennis shoes. Today should be the big gardening day. We’ll see how that goes. . .

What She Ate: I haven’t had much yet, but we’re off to have roast beef po boys at a place down the street.

One of the things that I like about having a blog is that sometimes I’m feeling something vague and undefinable. I’m unhappy and disatisfied for reasons that I can’t quite put my finger on. Today was like that and while I was wandering around Home Depot, it hit me. The vague, undefined thing became clear in a way that it hadn’t been before. I think this is all the writing. Forcing yourself to put it into words can really help.

Anyway, I was wandering around Home Depot by myself, seeing all these families picking out plants when I had a revelation. Moving home has put a real cramp in the workings of my family. For so long it was just the two of us. Hub, me, me, Hub. All we had was each other. People rarely invited us to do things because we didn’t know that many people. Weekends stretched out with endless possibility–we could do whatever we wanted. Granted, we usually sat around watching TV, but we had options.

Now, we have the push-pull that is family. My husband has spent most of his weekend free time working on putting in a drainage system in his mother’s backyard. We have invitations too–every holiday we spend trying to figure out who to visit and in what order. Christmas was exausting. There’s also all the other people we know. There are invitations for Pre-Easter parties, Good Friday, St. Patrick’s Day, and Easter Sunday.

I’ve got to figure out the balance. Respecting your family’s needs and your own. Making sure that every weekend isn’t spent making everyone else happy. Making myself happy too. I need to get to that place where I say enough is enough. The trouble is. . . how to do it.
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Comments

  1. I have been away for a while but I was happy to read that you and your family are doing well. That boy of yours is so cute. I sure miss having little ones.

  2. We have a lot of the same issues. We have Jeff’s dad and step mom and my parents. My sister and her family live here as well. It is nice having family so close to help out but it sure can be a PITA sometimes, too.

  3. It will become even after a while. It is new to them, having both of you there to help out.

    Hope it all works out.

    -S.

  4. Ya, I obviously don’t have that problem but I know a lot of people that do. I mean what if you and the hub just want a weekend to yourselves – if you tell the fam that they are likely to take it the wrong way. But like someone else said it’s still new that you are back in town and I bet things even out.

    Hope you got lots of work done on the garden!

  5. You know, as homesick as I am right now, you’ve made a good point–way up here in Oklahoma we can do whatever the heck we want whenever we want…no pressure, no obligations. Hope you got a chance to work on that garden–we’ve been tilling the crap out of ours. We even put in the onions yesterday.

  6. I hated all that push pull too. When my son and dil got married, I told them that the only hoilday meal I would cook would be Christmas dinner. If they wanted to come any other time they were of course more than welcome. Heh, we spend more holidays with them than any other family because there was no pressure on them.

    Just tell family that this weekend we’re just going to be together, the three of us and goof off. Good luck!

  7. I have never lived close enough to my family to feel this… or perhaps I just ignored it. Either way, I have to admit that I am a little envious that you are close to family.

    My husband is a continent away from his family (not that he is close) and I am just a country away. I wish we were closer so that we could visit without it being a major undertaking.

  8. Rocket Man says:

    Being away from home has its advantages. Quiet Thanksgiving, Chinese restaurant for Christmas – make a few phone calls and we’re done.

    Now that we are going to be about 6 hours from home, I expect we’ll go in for some holidays – and sometimes we’ll stay on our own.

    Now being away from my family for Easter isn’t fun. I’ll go visit my buddy and his fly in B’ham and that will have to do.

  9. Christine says:

    Good luck with that. I am in a disagreeable mood so I will say this: Be glad you have family to push and pull. With the loss of DH’s father in December, we have only my parents left, and well….I love them cause they are mine, but they are not the warm fuzzy types my in-laws were.

    Have a blessed Holy Week and Easter.