Breaking Up is Hard to Do

What She Wore: Blue jeans, tennis shoes, periwinkle polo with a little yellow polo player. You can sneak purple and gold in all over the place.

What She Ate: Cheese and chicken enchiladas with my homemade red sauce. Yummy!

Finding the right doctor or therapist for your child is a lot like dating. You arrive early, you look nice, your hopes are high. Often times, you are disappointed. More often than not, I find doctors lacking. Some don’t understand the nuances of your child’s health–the worse ones aren’t really interested. The best ones are great. You leave their presence feeling better. They are as hopeful as you are about your child. They feel like members of “Team Charlie” rather than cross-town rivals.

Sometimes, however, you get someone that you don’t love. In some cases, you have a choice–you get a second opinion, you change courses of action, or you just don’t go back.

I’m starting to think that I’m not wild about Charlie’s Vision Therapist. I’d like start by saying that she is the consummate professional. She’s perfectly on-time, she calls the night before to confirm, she gives me all paperwork typed, and she has a myriad of strategies.

I don’t think she has a lot of faith in Charlie, though. The first day she came to work with Charlie she brought Braille materials and a special needs catalogue from Toys R Us. Right then and there I think I soured a little. I’m not opposed to Braille if that’s what Charlie needs, but he’s seven months old. He’s not reading anything. Let’s work on his vision for now, and when it comes time to read, we’ll figure out which way is best for him.

Whenever she comes, she acts like Charlie is blind. She assumes the worst and that’s exactly what she gets. She comes with bells and colorful toys, beads and flashlights, and he ignores the whole thing. I’ve had two different doctors–both specialists–tell me that he is definitely not blind. I’ve had other experts in children tell me that they think he has vision. The verdict seems to be that he’s missing some of his vision field. This makes vision inconvenient, but present. Our job is to get him using his vision as best he can. So far, I’ve seen a vast improvement in the last four months. His vision is more centered and he makes more eye contact than before (as opposed to none, we have some). He still has a long way to go, but I see progress and so do others.

So, I’m left feeling like the girl who’s always wanted to get married and have kids, who’s well out of college, and who’s dating a tool.

For now, she’s one of the only Vision Therapists in the state. She’s all we’ve got. I have to decide if her positive therapies out-weigh her negative vibes. Ahhh, the choices we parents have to make.

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Comments

  1. Personally, and take this with a grain of salt if you want, but Charlie is not working with her or for her because he on some level is picking up on her negative vibe. Braille material now? That was not right? Give Charlie time. Good grief. I would personally tell you to tell her to pound sand, but that is just me. But you have to do what is best for Charlie. How do you feel after she leaves? How long is it before you get another in your state to do the same thing for Charlie who is more positive? Does he really need her or are the things that he does with her something that a physical and occupational therapist couldn’t do with him? He needs positive support and encouragement.

    hugs,
    Becca

  2. Nadine Hightower says:

    I agree with Becca. If you feel the negative….Charlie does too.
    Braille??? Is this her first baby she’s worked with?? Maybe she’s a specialist but there has to be somebody that works with babies.
    I would look for a replacement for her as Team Charlie needs to be an upbeat group of people that believe in him.

    I think we should have tshirts too! I want it to be Purple and Gold with his happy face on it!
    “We Are Goin’ For The Gold”

  3. Anonymous says:

    well you know what they say…there are many fish in the sea and someday when you least expect it you might just find…the right dr’s…

    *~* :o) if you do not have a smile today… :o) I will give you one of mine… :o) *~*

  4. Small Town Girl says:

    It’s sad that someone working with kids is so negative. You’d think they’d want to be as positive as possible to get as much growth as possible.

  5. Tough spot you’re in…I wonder if she realizes how she comes off…I wonder if trying to fill her in would make any difference. I bet getting rid of her sure would! Some of the exercises she does with Charlie–could you do them yourself?

  6. It’s too bad that your positive vibes can’t cancel out her negative ones. It sounds like SHE may be the one with a narrow field of vision. *hugs*

  7. Leucantha` says:

    Well I hope you find another option, if not maybe you can be direct and just try to help her get it. I know I have been clueless about something and have someone gently set me on the right track and appreciated it in the long run.

  8. Hey girl! Isn’t it sad that we have to “interview” the physicians that work with our children? Our surgeon “interview” at ACH is on the 20th and I have a TON of questions to ask them!

    Thanks for letting me know about the free food while I pump there. I will DEFINATELY be breast feeding again… just like I did with Baylee. I need to buy a pump. I rented one before and after spending over $300.00 in rental fee’s once it was all said and done I might as well of bought one. And, trips back and forth from Cabot to ACH will get a little tiring so that will be nice to hang out there between visits with the baby.

    Big Hugs – Tiff

  9. Well is the “ONLY” vision therapist?

    My thoughts – talk to your doctors, tell them your concerns and see what they say. Someone already on Team Charlie is going to be willing to find the best solutions for the man.

  10. Meant to say “is she THE ONLY” or are they any others. Sorry about the typos

  11. If she’s the only option, something is better than nothing, right? But if there’s another option, perhaps it’s worth a look. If she’s underestimating Charlie’s abilities…well, I don’t have to tell you that children will live up to the expectations set for them–you know that. That would concern me.
    Have you discussed your concerns with her? Maybe if you told her, she’d be open to approaching Charlie differently.

  12. First off, those enchiladas sound really good!!

    Tough decision on the therapist but I say go with our gut instinct, and like Becca said, Charlie can probably pick up on her negative vibe.

  13. How far to the next state? What Charlie needs is faith and people who believe in him. IF she is the only option, maybe discuss other strategies with the Dr. and let her know you are a firm believer in having faith.

  14. How frustrating that must have been! I would keep checking around… there’s got to be someone else who is trained in vision. Do you have Early Intervention there?

  15. Hmm. Can’t tell you what to do here. On the one hand, I think SOME is better than NONE, if she’s all there is. On the other hand, I agree with Toni, maybe she doesn’t realize how she’s coming off. Wonder if a heart to heart would make the difference?
    Hang in there girl. Oh,and perfect reference regarding “dating” the doctors!