No Promises

A girl that I know, about as well as you know anyone that isn’t a close friend, made an announcement on Facebook the other day. Her son had been diagnosed with a significant, life-altering illness about six month previous, and they were seeking some expert advice. She asked for prayers.

Tonight, New Year’s Eve, she posted a picture of her kids at the beach and mentioned that it was from “before.”


I remember the days when my life was divided by before and after. When Charlie was just a tiny baby I would look at picture of my me and my husband and would think “that was before.”

Before I had a disabled child.

Before I knew the scent of a hospital so intimately.

Before I knew that babies died and not just sometimes–but often.

That was “before Katy” and I would look at her in pictures and would envy her. She had no idea that one day her life would be so different.

I wanted to send the Facebook girl an email, but I didn’t. Wanted to reach out, but for whatever reason I didn’t.

I wanted to tell her that one day there were be a life where there’s no before and after. Well, maybe not NO before and after, but a day where you realize that your life hasn’t been divided into two pieces. You are you–there aren’t two versions. One day you won’t look at pictures and think of the “before” you. It will just be you. You with a life that’s had ups and downs, and goddamn left turns, but still you. You that loves, and sleeps, and bitches and moans, and counts your blessings.

Just you.

I don’t know when, but one day you won’t envy the “before” you, but will realize that she was just you a little earlier in the journey.

Wishing a little peace to everyone still in two pieces–may you feel whole again one day soon.


Ten Months

In June of last year I had about three different ideas for a website. I wanted something not personal and commercially viable. I wrote all my ideas on scraps of paper, folded them up, and then had my husband pick a scrap from my cupped hands. I made a deal with myself that I would chase down whichever idea he picked for one year without backing down or giving up.

He picked “Blog for the Northshore” out of my hands and I got to work.

I started off mostly clueless. I wasn’t sure how often I wanted to post or what topics to cover.

I convinced a friend to join me–told her that if this idea worked she could pull off her site in her area. Again, I thought we might be working on the one site for about a year.

I was wrong.

Four months later my friend branched off into her own site.

A month after that a friend of mine from high school let me know she wanted to create her own site and we began the process of getting someone else off the ground and running their own site.

The following month an experienced blogger approached us about a site in her area. 

Two months after that an established site asked if they could join the network we were developing. 

So we grew four sites in about six months–only halfway to that year mark.

Last weekend the writers on my site and I raised almost $800 for a local charity.

My site owners are selling ads.

And planning events.

We have another site slated to open in the coming months and I’m starting to think hard about where we want the site after that to be.

Every day I get to chat with smart women about their businesses (truly my favorite part). I get to research for them and coach them when they need it. I get to help my community and assist small business owners who need to market themselves.

I knew the idea was good, but had no idea how much richness would come from it. How many times over I would be blessed.

My kids are good too–I promise to blog about them soon.

Just wanted to say thank you to the Universe.

Turns Out I Still do Have my Password

See there? I can be funny. Or something close. I’ve been very, very busy, but tonight I am struck with an urge to talk about my actual life and not just summarize it in 140 characters or what have you.

The thing about blogging is that if you don’t do it for a while, you forget how to do it. I go to sleep at night with little snippets of sentences parading in my head, but no full thoughts. Makes it a lot harder to sound coherent when I finally sit down here.

Oh well. Incoherent is what you get, I guess.

So how have I been you ask? I’ve been good. I’ve been running my hyper-local parenting site. I’m in the midst of planning a big dinner and a charity event as well, so it keeps me busy. But good busy. I’m stretching myself. We’ve got franchises up in Lafayette, Jefferson Parish, and Smyrna, GA and I’m busy working with another mom getting her site started. It’s fun and exhausting and pretty awesome.

And the boys? Well, the boys are a mess, but nothing too dramatic.

Charlie is doing very well in some areas. I’ve slowly been reintroducing ABR into his life and he enjoys the one-on-one time with Mommy. The techniques they do have been fine-tuned over the years, so he responds even better and even faster than in years past. I look over and admire his sitting almost daily.

He is still very resistant to actual work at school and we’ve made very little progress in getting him to do much in that area although he does try if he’s feeling up to it. If you hold his hand, he can write his name. He’d rather not do work though. He’d like to hang out, visit, listen to music, and generally be a social butterfly. He was invited to a typical kid’s birthday party the other day and we went and had a very nice time!

His big issues these days are the things that bother a lot of kids, but with Charlie there are layers that keep me from figuring things out right away. He’s been having reflux, which caused night waking. It took a lot of fiddling to figure out that some slippery elm before bed makes him sleep and eat better. Easy! The second issue is less easy. He has chronic sinus infections. A CT scan revealed this and he seems to be in a constant state of stuffy nose, post-nasal drip. Nothing we try seem to help for very long. The kicker is that it makes him drool a LOT more. He drools more at six than he did at two and three. So my goal is to get him to the ENT to see what our options are there.

And the twinnies? There are doing their thing. Not much talking, but Louis is trying very hard. August is less interested, but that’s his personality. Louie is super-social man. Talking will help him with that. August is less so. August has social needs, but they’re quieter–he wants to play, he wants to snuggle. He’s my sweetie. Our goal is to have Louis continue at his current preschool and send August to Early Intervention preschool. August will shut down if there’s a chance to–we need him in a small class situation so he doesn’t have that option.

And that leaves Rexie! Guess what? He’s not so good at the talking either. I know y’all are shocked. I have enrolled him in Early Intervention as well (I’m four for four here), and he’ll be starting at the same preschool as Louis in the fall. Scary thought: one morning a week I’ll have no children in my house. I mean, realistically that will probably never happen, but it’s an interesting possibility. I’m also going to be living in my van with four kids in three different schools. Good thing I like my van.

So that’s it. No fairy tales at my house–just hard work, lots of therapy, and some amazing little boys.

I’m smiling as I type this.

Til next time!



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